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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I keep living like this?

2 replies

Ejs890011 · 17/11/2025 21:24

I wanted advice I have been through this situation at least 4 times during last 6-8 months.

husband ask if I was in the mood last night while cuddling on sofa. I said I wasn’t tired. Then tonight we were cuddling on the sofa again he asks if I am in the mood. He had already got naked on the sofa while we were cuddling. I said I wasn’t. Considering we had sex last Monday. Then he proced to put his pants on and says that he is cold and feels sick and tired and going to bed.
I said oh no hope you have a good sleep and feel better.
then he proceeds to send me this:

“Lovely cuddle with you. I’m so run down with a lot of things. . I do my upmost to care for you both but I am just so so down. I’d love to be able to talk to you about it but on some things your as hard as nails! Where as I’m not. It’s very difficult to speak to you about things when feeling upset with some things. My biggest issue I believe is me! I try way way too hard sometimes I think and maybe take a leaf out of your book and just be my self and not try so hard. “

then he comes downstairs saying I don’t care then he says he wasn’t even in the mood but we aren’t close anymore.

then he says am I only with him for convenience. As he brings most of the money when I am on maternity leave.
then he says it’s always him making the effort and I don’t bother

like I don’t know what else to do. Always the same whenever I say I am not up for it.

OP posts:
redastherose · 17/11/2025 22:24

I’m sorry but he’s a shit. How old is your baby? how much time do you get to relax without him trying to guilt trip you into sex? It can take ages for women to want to have sex after giving birth especially if you are breastfeeding. However, regardless of all that he’s trying to force you to give in to his demands with his little pity party! He’d rather have sex with an unwilling partner than sort himself out.

chickenfucker · 17/11/2025 23:07

He was cold cos he took all his clothes off. What a horrible guilt tripping message too, full of self pity.

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