How differently does heartbreak affect men?

[Notaboutthebass]

Do they get over things quicker, do they go through different stages with different timescales?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/social-instincts/202412/4-reasons-why-single-women-are-so-much-happier-than-single-men/amp

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10192784/

Men earning more is due to the patriarchy not because they are more intelligent/able than women. Men kill 2 women a week and assault many more, they are not our protectors. Men get excited by football because they don't have the emotional literacy to communicate outside of this. The list goes on.

The way every aspect of character and personality is always boiled down to simply whether they're a MAN or a WOMAN on MN is so ridiculous.

Experience of heartbreak and contentment with being alone are just... not gendered things. (Do none of you know male introverts?! Women who jump from relationship to relationship?) It's so weird to me that anyone could think of them as male/female traits.

And clickbait "4 Reasons Why" style listicles are not scientific evidence for the love of God!

Married men live longer, arw happier and earn more than single men. The reverse is true for women. These are measurable parameters ( ONS) if suicide is used as a proxy for unhappiness which seems fair enough.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0927537100000208#:~:text=We%20allow%20for%20heterogeneity%20in,of%20children%20on%20household%20behavior

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2023

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7452000/

There is more

https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/should-women-stay-single#:~:text=A%20number%20of%20studies%20report%20that%20single,challenging%20multiple%20roles%20at%20work%20and%20home.

I don't like making sweeping statements but I think men are typically better at compartmentalising their feelings. I know someone who absolutely adored his wife but when she died suddenly, he remarried an old friend within 14 months. I think he was able to put his grief in a mental box in a way that a lot of women might not have been able to do. Again, a sweeping statement but I think women are more likely to want to process all their feelings and work through them rather than tidying them away.

Is that the patriarchy that killed well over 100000 of them in UK mines?

Historically, men did the paying jobs because they relied on brute strength, and that phenomenon continued until relatively recently, in shipyards, foundries etc.

In my last employment, most of the senior positions were filled by women.

Your comment regarding football is a gross generalisation. Maybe that's the men you know. Personally, I don't like sport, but the men I know who do are perfectly capable of expressing their emotions without that medium.

Recently ? The last of those heavy industries closed by and large under Thatcher in the early 80's so 40 years ago, there will be very few working age adults for whom this has been their lived experience. We certainly can't atribute the wage gap to that in 2025

Even in physical jobs, there are now more regulations around how much a single person should lift and so on. There also used to be active bans on women doing certain jobs, and marriage bars.

Not quite sure why that's a factor in heartbreak, though.

Aren’t they the ones that mostly stalk, harass and abuse women who leave them.

Also they do that family annihilation thing where they kill everyone and themselves.

It’s rarer for women to do that.

On a less serious note, I find some men constantly comparing new women to their first love. A girl that doesn’t exist anymore because she grew up.

Like women, it depends entirely on the context of the break up. In my experience whoever has initiated the split tends to be further down the line in terms of emotionally checking out of the relationship and they have already to a large extent reconciled their grief and in a better position to 'move on'. That said, I am a man, and in my late 20s found out that my then live in girlfriend was having an affair with a work colleague, I was absolutely devastated and up until that point had not known emotional pain like it. I was a mess for the first few months and it probably took me 18 months before I was finally in a place to date again.

I think it depends on the person. I have a male friend who cannot be alone. Will date, have causal relationships etc for company. He is perfectly capable of cooking, cleaning etc, but wants companionship.

DP and I split up for 8 weeks. I thought I was over him after 3 weeks. I missed company but not him. But soon got into my routine and loved life. Reckon I was ready to date, but too busy enjoying my stress free life.

him on the other hand was depressed, got on with life but apparently was mourning me. I heard through friends. Talked about me watched me on social media and always asking after me. Apparently he took it bad.

we meet after 8 weeks to swap stuff back and talked, spent a few months working through issues and now flying.

Statistically white men who are happy in their marriages are more likely to remarry within a year of marriage than women are. But that’s because, as a law of averages, white men tend not to be involved in their wives’ care and many move on while their spouses are dying. The adages of white men lining up replacements while their wives are sick can be true.

You don’t see the same patterns with men of colour (who are married) as they are more actively involved in care. They often take longer to move on. This is even after you take into account that they’re more likely to have arranged marriages (in this country at least). I suppose it’s because there’s a greater familial impact and they’re more likely to have kids at younger ages.

A few things to consider:

Many women choose not to acquire DIY skills - there is nothing to stop them doing it.

The gender pay gap is largely due to average pay, affected by women taking time out for childcare, women being more likely to work part time, and possible lack of representation is some senior roles. For any given job, pay is equal.

Many middle aged men have no friends, and are likely to become isolated after a relationship break up.

For any given job, pay is equal.

It should be. Bollocks is it, IME.

In my own personal experience men have that one woman they can't seem to get over (usually a very toxic relationship) anyone else has seemed very replaceable-this goes for men I have dated and a lot of male friends. I have come to (the very sad) conclusion that men view women as processions that are part of them and not individual human beings that have thoughts, feelings and emotions of their own

I tend to move on quickly - being 50 life is moving fast and dont have time to hang around. A bit like if you fall off a bike, get on again quick!

Everyone is different though. I moved on very quickly after 20 year relationship and was in the right place despite being 'too soon' according to some

I work in tech. Even when people have the same exact skills men are often made offers (and women rejected) at the higher end of the band.

Lots of men seem to go to shit after relationship breakups. There's memes about it, how come divorced women glow up and divorced men look like they've passed away?