New man stopped messaging

[GingerKat24]

So … I’ve been on 6 dates with a guy … from day one not a great texter and very busy with work. Anyway .. 10 days ago we had sex - it was really good, he sent me some lovely messages the next day…. He liked me, excited to see me again, and then it’s just petered out. We were going to meet up last week but he never got back to me to confirm. I sent a message last night (after a couple of wines!) and got a cheerful but vague reply). So I’ve got no idea what’s going on … I feel so humiliated… I’m 53 and it feels like dating is as shit as when I was by in my 20’s!!

Welcome back to the shitshow
he's probably dating many women
don’t take it personally
there will be many who have experienced the same thing including myself
get back out there and go on some more dates with other people

Don’t chase the ones that are bad at messaging or ‘too busy’ I think mostly it’s a poor excuse of not being that interested. Let them work for it and let YOU know when they want to see you. It’s fine also to let them know you’re keen to see them but they also have to make an effort.

Unfortunately even many men old enough to be grandfathers are players who pretend they want a relationship just to get sex then they lose interest.

No one is to busy to reply to texts when they are interested

Six dates isn’t enough to know someone and whilst many men want sex asap they they reject women that do put out as being unsuitable for a long term relationship.

It’s hypocritical but common.

I'd think his wife found out or got suspicious. Or he's just yet another let down of a man who says whatever to get what he wants.

Sorry OP :-(

That is so true … so many older men have huge egos/expectations …. Even if they themselves are bald, overweight etc …. 🤔

Was he bald and overweight?

I guess he was not as interested in you as you were in him. Oh, well.

Onwards and upwards.

His loss @GingerKat24

But please try to not take this personally, as it happens a lot. I am the same age as you, and have just given up even trying to date now.

My theory is, is that they are in for the fun of it, and once you sleep together then for him it is mission accomplished and they move on to the next. And I also found that dating men long term in our age bracket is also near on impossible, as they want to date women younger than them.

Are you new to dating?

Honestly I’d block him and move on. I would not put up with that, especially after being intimate. What age range are you putting on the app? After online dating older men I changed my age range to younger and met my partner of 4 years. He’s 50 and I’m 57.

He’s got what he wanted and he’s gone. He’s an arsehole

You’ve found one with Sweet Shop syndrome (there’s loads of them out there) unfortunately. Move on - he’s not worth the waste of energy

Block and move on. Not worth your time.

Yep. And the ones who aren’t chasing women 20 years younger want a nurse with a purse to cook clean and wipe their arse in their dotage.

Im late 50’s and realised staying single far preferable than wasting time with these men

@GingerKat24 is your question relevant?

This makes me feel so angry on your behalf. I completely understand how humiliated you are feeling because your consent to be intimate with this man was not given lightly and he’s proved himself to be yet another dickhead not worth giving the time of day to. Ten days and the arsehole makes you chase him and flips you off with a non committal bullshit text. You’ll learn from this though. As another op said upthread, the lack of contact even in the early and initial stages is just time wasting and playing with you. Why do they think they’re so damned special and entitled? I bet this loser contacts you again when he feels like it, expects sex and then drops you again. Don’t give him a chance, just block him now. I’m getting the impression that you are newly single or just starting to look for another relationship. If the former, just take your time and enjoy being single, independent and doing things for you. You’ll feel a lot stronger and more in control.

These men who claim to want a relationship and then say how busy they are are either incapable of joined up thinking or are being tricky. A relationship takes time, input of time, to build. Trying to fit that in around an already intensely busy life isn’t going to work. What they are offering is the opportunity to spend time with them once all their other commitments have been met. The crumbs from their table.

And as pp have said, often their busyness includes other women they are dating.

There are threads on here that include posts from women who have had success with online dating, but it seems to me they are the minority. If you want to pursue OLD maybe take some time to read through other threads on the subject to get some tips for the way to proceed that suits you best.