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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Starting all over, later in life, not too late though, I hope.

6 replies

Startingagainandagain999 · 16/11/2025 12:45

Hello.. I’m and have been single for around 4 years after a long run of relationships that, if I’m honest, really weren’t good for me. Some were emotionally unhealthy, some were downright abusive, and I’ve spent the last few years doing a lot of rebuilding and working out who I actually am when I’m not trying to survive a relationship.
I feel like I’m finally in a place where I’m quietly curious about dating again — not rushing, not desperate, just wondering if it’s possible to start fresh at this stage of life. I’m very aware of the red flags I used to overlook, and I’m trying hard not to repeat old patterns. But it’s daunting. I haven’t “dated” properly since my 20s, and so much seems to have changed.
I’m not looking for a rescue, a fairy-tale, or a lecture — just wondering if anyone else has restarted later in life after some questionable choices and how did you approach it? What surprised you? What would you do differently?
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through similar, or who has any gentle, practical pointers.
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Startingagainandagain999 · 16/11/2025 12:45

Sorry NC for this one x

OP posts:
Againforget · 16/11/2025 12:47

What are your circumstances? Kids?

cabjlhbojhs · 16/11/2025 13:04

What is "this stage of life"? Not that it really matters - it is never too late!

JunoJuliaBravo · 16/11/2025 13:33

How old are you now?

That's relevant.

Are you 30s, 40s, 50s or older?

I've got friends and family who've found new partners in their 60s and 70s.

You might find this suggestion OTT but if you have a history of repeating behaviour that doesn't end well, have you thought of talking to a counsellor?
You don't have to be in a fix to have counselling but it can be very helpful to understand why you made the wrong choices before and avoid them this time around.

From what you say it's about not choosing men who are abusive but who are genuinely good sorts.

Is your radar working?

UpDownAllAround1 · 16/11/2025 15:01

Full silps/ Ai

JunoJuliaBravo · 16/11/2025 16:29

UpDownAllAround1 · 16/11/2025 15:01

Full silps/ Ai

what is a silp?

Is that an anagram or are you saying this isn't a genuine poster and it's a AI thread?

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