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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overreacting?

1 reply

Chopsticksushi · 15/11/2025 19:28

Husband leaves cat food in the sink regularly…last Friday morning I ask please can you clean it away. I have asked about 4 x in the last week (and probably about 20x over the last year). Also leaves cupboard doors/drawers open/leaves stuff everywhere. Anyway…ask him to please tidy up cat food gets defensive and argumentative. I don’t respond. He then tries to change the subject…mentioning he got given a present. Says- It’s probably more my thing…felt manipulative. I had to see my mum that afternoon (death in the family) asked him to get home and please make dinner. He agrees and says he’ll be home to make dinner. I arrive home at the same time he does…and end up having to make dinner/tidy up etc (even though this week has been v stressful). I say I thought you said you’d get home in time to make dinner? Deflection/arguing again. I said please try to listen to me…he then deflects…you don’t listen to me…says I like you to text me when you’re half an hour away from home. I thought this was just after a night out and this was early evening…anyway ended up being all about how I should have texted I was on way (I got home at the time I said I would). No taking responsibility or listening. Is so frustrating.

Is this bad? Feels bad but not sure if I’m overreacting.

OP posts:
IvedoneitagainhaventI · 15/11/2025 22:18

Well either he just doesn't see why he should modify his behaviour and he intends to just keep on doing what he wants to do because he is bloody minded..

Or. He is behaving like this to deliberately annoy and upset you.

Either way he doesnt see you both as a partnership.
He doesn't respect you.

His behaviour is that of a slob: the cat food issue is a real hygiene issue.

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