For context me and gf are both women and her friends are also queer women.
Me and my (first) gf have been together almost a year. It’s going pretty great. Her friends are generally nice and welcoming towards me. However there are two of her friends who are not. One is actively rude to me, makes digs and puts me down and then nice the next minute. Apparently when she is drunk she always randomly starts on someone. No one in the friend group stands up to her which I find weird.
The other friend refuses to even look at me and ignores me if I try to say hi. The second friend is closer to my gf and they all are in a big group of friends.
I later found out that both these women slept with my gf years ago but nothing came of it.
The fact that they have slept together doesn’t bother me, it was way before we met and everyone has a past.
I have been really upset about these instances (particularly the first) and have tried to speak to my gf. With regard to the first woman, she says she doesn’t care what she thinks so I shouldn’t either, that’s just what she is like and it’s all her issue, I shouldn’t let it bother me. My gf one minute said her friend went too far then the next time we discuss it she said she was just being protective and then switched back again. My gf didn’t stick up for me in the moment which really hurt. When I asked her about this she said she can’t speak for me.
This has left me feeling quite scared as we will run into this woman again shortly at an event.
with the second woman she said she didn’t notice her ignoring me but that this friend is often weird with others gfs. This friend has never had a relationship really despite being in her 40s. My gf says it’s the friends issue and I need to stop letting people upset me so much.
I don’t want to bring it up again for fear of another argument with my gf.
I don’t want this to keep happening or coming between us but we seem to be going around in circles on the issue.
Does anyone have any advice on how to move forward?