Ok not ‘old’ but I left a long term relationship not too long ago and the deeper I get into my 40’s the more I realise I’m totally out of touch with how mature men act when they like you.
Fancied something unserious as a way of dipping my toe back in, tried the apps, hated it. Then met a nice enough guy, who seems to go out of his way to be decent to me, but does he like me or am I just so used to shitty behaviour from my ex that I can’t tell basic politeness from desire? What a great thing to have to ask myself! So:
- always asks me to lunch if we’re out together
- does little things to make my life easier (ex. I lost something useful recently and he just replaced it)
- finds reasons to touch me - in a casual light way not in a creepy way - on the arm or whatever when we’re chatting
- if he sees me without something in a group activity (hard to explain but imagine playing tennis and you’re short a racket, he’ll give me his)
- this is all totally non transactional
Ive lost a bit of confidence recently with the sudden onset of well, my face in my mid forties so don’t know if I’m imagining it because my self esteem took a bit of a hit with my collagen levels to be honest. He’s also pretty fit in my book and I can’t imagine he’d fancy a permanently tired woman who forgets words halfway through a conversation because peri has stolen my brain matter.
I feel teenager-y and stupid and I’m not really enjoying that part so give me your opinions straight please.