What would you do

[Ziapumpkin]

Twenty years ago when I was young and foolish I got married.
he broke my heart and it ended horribly and I ran away travelling and never went back.

a couple of years after I left my dad called me to say I had received divorce paperwork in the post and where should he forward it on? I just couldn’t face it so ignored it and then a little while later got a remote job at sea and we never discussed it again.

fast forward to last year and my long term partner and I decided to get married so I started trying to locate my long lost husband to sort out a divorce. He was in the military and was shaping up to be a career soldier when we were together and I’m guessing he followed through because he is IMPOSSIBLE to find.

All of out mutual contact fell by the wayside eons ago so I asked my now very elderly dad to help try and figure out a way to find him.

my dad very guiltily admitted that he had forged my signature on the divorce papers to get this guy out of my life once and for all. He thought that it was all too painful for me to deal with (true) and it was very unlikely I would get married again and need to find out (also true)

im not mad at my dad but for the last 12 months this has really been playing on my mind.

ive contacted the centre for registriy and have got my final divorce certificate- but am I actually legally divorced if I never signed the paperwork?

what would happen to my Dad?
what if my ex is remarried- is he now a bigamist?

we had bought a house together all those years ago and I guess at the back of my mind was always, one day il get in touch and sort that out- do I have any claim if we’ve been divorced for so long?

part of me wants to let sleeping lions lie, but another part of me feels like I’m still married and can’t go through with marrying my current partner if I know my divorce was fake?
What would you do

I'd absolutely do nothing and get on with my life. Your imagination is running away with you. Your dad did you a favour.

I think I’d just move on, class yourself as divorced. As for the house, what are you hoping to get out of it?

So you want half of the house now? Did your dad sign any sort of financial settlement at the time?

we both put in an equal deposit, and when I left to travel it was rented out, we’d agreed that the rent money would just pay the mortgage and maintenance and when I got back we would sell it and split it. It sounds daft now but I always just assumed that if he wanted to sell it he’d get in touch, as my email hasn’t changed and he has my parents address for letters. It’s something I knew would be a massive task and require me to go home so I e just put it off and off and off and now his mobile number and email are not getting any responses. Part of me is like meh let it go but also a part of me wants some justice for what he did to me. He collapsed my whole life twenty years ago, it’s taken me along time to heal paychologically

He's not a bigamist. Like murder, there has to be intent, and he reasonably believed he was not married. So he is not a bigamist.

As for your dad, I'd love someone to take such initiative to get a toxic person out of my life. My dad would never! Give your dad a big hug from me.

Congrats on your free divorce. No better feeling than getting away with a free divorce.

Let the whole thing sleep with the fishes.

No financial settlement just divorce paperwork? I’ve never even seen it

Just look on it as your Dad got you divorced on your behalf.

Stop the rest. Unless, seriously, you are prepared to get your Dad prosecuted, leave it be.

OK, it was really painful at the time but you didn’t take responsibility in any intervening years. Of course you can’t start looking for a share in a house that you left 20 years ago and didn’t pursue when the divorce papers came through.

Your Dad got you divorced. Presumably you really didn’t still want to be married to him?

Drop the drama.

Your poor Dad , didn’t even have your forwarding address .

I believe you sign a financial settlement when you divorce, to end any claim moving forward. You might need to see a solicitor to check.
Can you Google the address and see when it was last sold, to see if that’s since you left?

TBH you need to get a financial settlement so your ex can’t come after any of your assets that you have now. Doesn’t mean you have to try and claim from him though.

I would ignore and forget about the forged signature.

I would ignore and forget about the house - unless the mortgage would still be running on it. Also check land registry to see who actually owns the house as it might have been sold years ago (maybe just to put your mind at rest).

What I wouldn't do is ignore whether a financial order was obtained at the time separating your finances properly. If not both of you are able to come after the other person to claim half your estate. This has happened even after twenty years, and Judges have awarded it, so find this out ASAP and get it sorted.

Oh yes, you have no financial separation? That's totally separate.

You do have a claim on the proceeds of the house, but you would have to make a legal claim and the chances are low potentially because you can't show that you needed the money. They dish out the assets according to need and fairness.

So it could cost you money to claim and you could get nothing.

When you marry you end your right to claim against your ex spouse. So if he did marry then he can't claim against you any longer.

If you're not mad with your dad and you wanted to divorce anyway then what's the problem

If you wanted the house proceeds you should have got in touch sooner.

I just had a look and it doesn’t seem to have been sold since we bought it.

i had checked with the original agent that we used to let it and they advised they hadn’t managed the property for years.

I believe you sign a financial settlement when you divorce, to end any claim moving forward
This is false and very dangerous advice. A divorce is split into three distinct parts. The admin part (decree nisi and absolute), the financial part and child custody part. You have done one, you have no need for three but my goodness you really need to sort the second part.

Ok, interesting.

when we bought the house we had a minimal deposit and got a 95% mortgage. When we seperated the house was worth less than what we owed so it just made sense to tenant it. We had agreed any income from the tenancy would just pay down the mortgage, I assumed because he was in the military he would maybe want to live in it or sell it when he came to retire from service or when I wanted to sell. I always kind of looked at it like an ace in my sleeve for the future…. But I didn’t realise that I was divorced otherwise I would have dealt with it a long time ago

I see your issue then. But you need to look at the likelihood of getting any claim on that house.

I'm divorced but we had no assets and got a clean break. So I don't understand from here on, but on the legal board they might. You could also do an AI Google and see, but I suspect you could be laughed out of court trying to claim on a house from decades ago, and if you did happen to mention your father's fraud, well that wouldn't really go well for him, so I'd advise against pursuing it and I really think your dad did a good thing.

If there is no financial settlement in place, then either of you could make a claim against the other in the future - my question would be why. You walked away and left the house to be handled by the ex and didn’t give it a second thought, so why would you suddenly want to claim a share of something you haven’t been interested in or shown any responsibility in for years?

Am I reading this correctly? You looked at the house and the income from the house as an 'ace up your sleeve'? And yet you fucked off leaving your poor Dad to deal with everything? Jesus!

You need to grow up and start being an adult

See a solicitor
Don't mention that your Dad signed the divorce papers
Ask the solicitor to organise a clean break division of assets

Learn from this 🙄

I would firstly do a land reg check (costs £3) to make sure he hasn’t somehow sold it without you knowing, this might also help you find his current address. Then go to a solicitor & look at finalising the financial aspect of your divorce with a clean break order & get your money from the house. Don’t mention the forged divorce docs.

My ex tried similar as in fucked off leaving me with all the headache and heartache then tried to claim half the house. Was laughed at in court. That said I am very intrigued as to your whole story and I would be nosy enough to go and visit the house and find out who lives there now etc. Might find your husband while there because you are still legally married to him.

Have you bought another property since, or been renting? Could you post a letter to the house itself?

You have your divorce cert, you know you are legally divorced. I would say "thanks dad" and move on.

Presumably you don’t want to get your dad into trouble. He tried to do you a favour because you ran away.

See a lawyer. Tell them that you don’t know where you stand either regard to the financial settlement as you don’t recall seeing anything about it and where do you stand.

If the house was in negative equity when you split then you dodged a bullet. Hes taken responsibility for everything since. So I’d suggest it’s over and move on.

Oh and say nothing about your dad.