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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I ask to see the SG person?

4 replies

Butheneverhitme · 11/11/2025 17:42

Married 22 years and he used to be lovely. He changed.

I can cope with the multiple infidelity but not the way he speaks and shouts at the children (all teenagers).

One he smashed up all the furniture. My son called the police who turned up. He charmed the male officer with stories of his very macho job (true). They're is no record of this visit.

Social services were not made aware.

School was not informed.

We were arguing and he punched the wall next to my face and said "that's your fault". The next day at church a hand physio clearly didn't buy his cover story and told him it was very like a boxers fracture. I wish she'd pulled me aside.

I'm got a MH problem and disclosed what was going on and they instigated a safeguarding plan for me as a vulnerable adult.

I'm back in hospital now and the session was on anger management. I wrote what was happening on the sheet and have it to the psychologist.

My brother thinks I shouldn't bank on that to be flagged. He thinks I should contact the SG officer.

What should I do?

OP posts:
Worriedmumma2025 · 11/11/2025 17:49

Poor you OP - you’re in an abusive relationship as I’m sure you’re aware.
Yes you can contact the SG officer directly or other HCPs can flag to them too. What is the harm in doing both.
have you thought about contacting women’s aid?
other more knowledgeable posters will be along shortly I’m sure but I think being honest with the psychologist is a great first step. You do need to get away from this vile individual

BillieWiper · 11/11/2025 17:51

You need to tell anyone you can what is happening. Including the police. You need to get away from him.

Who's house is it? Can you go to your family or a friend's for a while? Do you have a job, access to money?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 11/11/2025 17:57

Are you in the UK?. I ask only as I am wondering who a SG officer is.

You do not need anger management but a divorce from your abusive spouse. You need to be safe from him but where are your children?.

Butheneverhitme · 11/11/2025 19:09

In in a MH unit and DC are with family. He's out of the country.

Notice on ward board about a safeguarding officer.

I'm trying so hard to divorce him but he's refusing to respond to the extent that the court demanded husband attendance.

OP posts:
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