Help/advice re splitting up

[Loveactuallynot]

NC for this

I'm a bit (ok alot) all over the place at the moment. Found dubious texts "D"H has sent. It's not the first time 😞

Our marriage is over and I am getting my ducks in a row but I have no idea about divorce and financial splits. This is where I will face the biggest challenge I fear.

He knows he's caused this and is (again) deeply sorry blah blah and so on... he will be generous in a financial split but will it be allowed by courts?

We have been married 20+ years. 1 child at college still living at home. Mortgaged house neither of us can afford to buy the other out although 400k equity so that's a start. Other assets include a car and pension each both probably like for like.

The disparity in income is glaring though. DH earns 80k, I dont even earn enough to pay tax! I am self employed in my hobby (8 years now) which we jointly agreed for me to do in the run up to retirement etc.

Will I be able to continue with my business? Or will the court expect me to get an employed PAYE job full time (or even part time alongside self employment?)

DH won't want me to have to do this, he will be happy to give me the lion share of the equity to enable me to keep the business. Is this allowed?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks

unlikely you will need court to intervene if you can agree something fair between you on the assets split. Yes of course you can continue your business. Be prepared for things to get ‘dirty’ though with your ex. Divorce is not straightforward if a new woman and/or kids around. Key is who is going to live in the marital home or are you going to sell it and split the equity. Can you afford to live there paying all the mortgage ?

Even if you come to a split by consent the court still needs to approve it, if you want an actual binding (and presumably clean break as to income and assets) consent order. It will want to see both parties housed at least, even if that means one person renting, but I would say such an unequal division may not be approved - you can try though.
otherwise you can draw up a separation agreement which is like a private contract but doesn’t ’kill off’ any future claim under the MCA 1973. It is better than nothing and it would act similarly to a post-nup essentially if anyone were to try and bring a financial remedies claim post divorce.

Aside from the court does your business give enough of an income to support you if you’re making under the tax threshold? Will you need a mortgage and could you pay one with such a low income?

I would say that the sold will need to be sold and with a higher % of the equity i could buy a property outright so have no mortgage. Then my (small) income would cover living costs

I would say that the sold will need to be sold and with a higher % of the equity i could buy a property outright so have no mortgage. Then my (small) income would cover living costs

That's really helpful thank you. I didnt know that private separation agreement so that is something we may well look into thanks.

Realistically DH will probably rent although he earns enough to get another mortgage (problem is he's not a spring chicken anymore so time may be an issue). I would not be able to get a mortgage so using equity long term to rent is an option (not ideal) or using higher split of equity to buy outright.

No, I wouldn't be able to get a mortgage. I would have to use the (higher split) of equity to either rent (not ideal) or buy outright.

Not sure why you are fixated on getting a higher % of the equity. It’s usually 50:50

I understand that yes. I wondered if, in cases where the income of each party was so different, that the court would agree to a different (agreed by us) split of the equity.

Not in my experience. Assets and income are seperate. You both need housing. He has as much right as you to be housed decently with the equity split. Income is irrelevant in only that he can afford a decent mortgage and rent. Infact he could argue he deserves a higher % than you

Ok noted thank you. Why could be argue that he deserves more?

With your info I would need to wind up the business (which will take some time) and source paid employment hence why i asked my initial questions. One thing (value of equity) directly affects another (what i do with regards to the business). Whereas for DH he will just continue in his job.

If he says he agrees this now, get him to put his money where his mouth is and sign a legally binding post separation agreement to that effect whilst you wait the 6 months odd it takes for the divorce to process. Contact a lawyer immediately to get that sorted properly. You will very quickly find out whether he is genuinely in agreement or not, and just how generous he is!

That is an excellent idea. I didnt even know a legally binding post separation agreement was a thing. So the courts would not be able to refuse the financial split agreement!

Edit: ive just looked online and understand that the separation order has to be agreed and made into a consent order by the courts so could still be challenged. Thanks

Because he may say he has spent his income on upgrading the house, maintaining and repairing the house and you have not paid anything towards the mortgage. I feel you will be lucky to get 50% but need decent legal input now or let him get advice that will favour him no doubt

If there is an age difference and he isn’t far off retirement, I would expect you to be more balanced in the split. It’s more reasonable to expect you to get a full time job so that he can keep some equity and rehome himself

I understand what you're saying but its not relevant in our case. I earned high for many many years and actually put the substantial deposit down on the house when we bought it. The house was completely renovated and updated equally. I do still contribute.

Thank you, yes that i what I wondered too. He has a good few years left until retirement but relevant point taken, thank you.

You can't expect ex husband to pay spousal maintenance or more from the divorce to support your 'hibby business' income. If you're not earning enough to pay tax then you're earning less than half of minimum wage, so yes you are going to need to do something to increase your income at least up to equivalent of minimum wage. Either increase your self employed income or get a part time job to go alongside it. There's still going to be an income disparity that should help your case in financial agreement, but it'll help if you can show that you're at least trying to earn a proper wage.

Noted thanks. I am "trying to earn a proper wage" by the way. I'm not running a self employment business for the good of my health. It is alot of work and whilst it is growing, it is taking time. Worth noting too that the business interest/hobby is shared and was always something we planned to do together. We decided i would leave my previous (highly paid) job to get it off the ground as DH has more flexible hours in his role. As it turns out, he's safe with high income although he's been fucking around and now im left with the scraps. Yes, I regret it. Im just trying now to see a future path. It's hard.

You are more likely to get an uneven split approved by the court if you show that you have both taken legal advice and if you write an explanation for the disparity. Be prepared for him to change his mind once he has consulted a solicitor, though. Good luck.