Need to get this out.

[MyHusbandToo]

I have namechanged for this, I am a regular and I have already posted on this thread about this.

This is a continuation of what I posted.

Since that thread, DH and I have been referred and have been to the first appointment of Psychosexual Counselling. (sp?)

The first session of these things is always hard and we both learned alot.

As you can read from the other thread, Dh is a cross-dresser and I find that very hard to deal with. The main problem is that he lies about his actions and in 'normal' life it is getting hard to distinguish what is the truth and what is not.
I would not have married him had I known then he was a cross dresser.

We went to see the therapists and he now understands that lying to me was not a wise choice to make. Its far better to be open to me and upset me a little until I get used to it than carry on the subterfuge.

I DO get very angry with him. I am angry over the lies, not so much the fact that he cross-dresses.

We are working at ways in which we can be more open with each other and I am going to learn how to control my anger.

We have 2 DC's together and I will not throw away my marriage on a whim, but he knows if the lying continues I will take steps.

I have a fear that the DC's will find out. He did not even think about that as they are still very young.

Gosh, this has turned into an essay! Thanks for reading if you got this far!

NameChangeDad I have been trying to CAT you. It says user not found. I am going to stay under this name for today so you can get in touch with me if you don't mind.

Thanks for replying JustAboutConscious.

Yes, I think he probably is ashamed. I also think there are deeper issues with his parents that he has never dealt with hence he does not like anger.

He is ready now to work through those issues and I am hoping to see a happier DH for that.

Hi JaffaCakes..

He is normally truthful afaik, but he has omitted things he should be open about before.
This is the main thing he is deceitful over. There's a fair amount of guilt on his part over it.

The sessions are fortnightly. I would imagine in the programme comes some individual stuff.
I have had problems with my mental health in the past, PND and bouts of depression. I am an emotional and comfort eater and I am working through that at the moment too.
I am fortunate that my sister knows what is going on, as does another Mumsnetter on here who I trust with this. I can talk to them.

I remember your previous thread, MHT. I'm not being funny here, but have you tried googling this problem? I was just thinking that other women must have the same problem, and wondered how they dealt with it. For example, do they allow dh to go to clubs where they can cross-dress, so they don't have to do it at home (because you don't want dc's to find out).

There are quite a lot of pages on google, I've just seen. Hope I'm not stating the obvious, just trying to help

www.gender.org.uk/derby/wives.htm

Hi.
Yes, I have looked on the internet, but it dosen't help me here. I think the first thing to concentrate on is our relationship as a couple.
This thread is about getting my thoughts and feelings out. There are probably hundreds and thousands of women out there in a similar situation to me. If this helps them to take steps to readjust their relationship then I consider it a worthy thread.

Okay, I thought you probably would have googled it, but didn't know how else to help. Sorry. Hope you manage to work through it together.