Help staying together

[Finallyme]

Moved to boyfriend’s country. Back and forth between states and here. together 2 years and just got permit to stay.
lately every time we have a fight he explodes and says I have been asking you to leave for a year!
lost. Don’t want to go. Want him not to dissolve into all or nothing at every argument. 2 days ago he was happy and talking about our future.
i saw he had texted his ex wife a birthday message saying “always thinking of you Xx” so been sensitive. We had small tiff and I shouted, you just want to be with Elsie! He shouted he keeps telling me he wants to be alone.
Need to know how to smooth it out and make it stick.
he told me to come with him to breakfast at friends house tomorrow and then do what I want.so he is calming down. I know this makes no sense but I need to know how to stay together. I worry that he wants his ex back and I worry that he is in love with his employee. But most/a lot of the time we are very happy and he is with me all the time.
help

Why do you want to even think about staying with this arsehole?

Just why? What’s the benefit why would you want this as your life?

One of the rules of a relationship is...you've got to feel safe within it. If you don't, it's time to leave.

It's definitely time for you to leave.

Relationships shouldn't be hard work.

I love him :(

Has he been telling you he wants you to go for a year? I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. How often are you arguing and him telling you to go?

You can't make him love you or want to be with you. It doesn't sound like he's as invested in this relationship as you are and that creates an imbalance. I fear you'll end up getting badly hurt OP.

No. He’s been loving and planning our future. It just lately when we fight he says that.
yesterday he said that and then later asked me if I still wanted to go to a formal dance we were supposed to go to that night - as if nothing had happened.