Hey everyone, I’m writing this post as I’d like some advice especially from women.
Me and my ex partner have split up couple of months ago I told him that I don’t want to be with him for multiple reasons.
We have a child together, yesterday I allowed him to come over to spend some time with his son as his house isn’t suitable.
I specifically told him that I do not want to talk about anything to do with us and I also told him that I still haven’t changed my mind about being with him.
I told him that I don’t want any physical touch either.
He came over and straight away he wanted to hug me which I refused, then he proceeded to tell me that the hug will make me feel better and I told him that I do not want one.
Then he proceeded to tell me that it looks like my bum has gotten bigger and if he can have a feel which I refused and asked why does he have to sexualise things all the time he said that he is not.
I went to sit down on the sofa, he then proceeded to come to sit next to me and started to rub my head and my legs which I asked him to stop doing because it was overstimulating for me and I didn’t ask for it.
I kept asking him to stop multiple times.
Later that night his son asked him if he can be the one to put him to sleep and he said okay, he took him upstairs and came downstairs and my son still wasn’t asleep at this point, after half an hour I have asked him if he isn’t going to go back upstairs and put our son back to sleep and he has told me that this isn’t his job as I chose to be a single mother and because he doesn’t live here and we are not together he doesn’t feel like it’s his responsibility to do that.
i ended up going upstairs to my son and putting him to sleep myself.
When I came downstairs my ex partner was clearly in a bad mood because I kept telling him no to the stuff he was doing, then he proceeded to talk about our relationship and my past which I told him I don’t wish to talk about.
I have asked him to leave which he refused to do because he said that I invited him and he wasn’t going to get in a cab home late at night, I then proceeded to tell him to either leave or I will call the police. He then said if I call the police he will do something mad which stopped me from doing that as I do not want my child around this sort of behaviour and I was quite frightened as well. He just made me feel uncomfortable. Earlier that night he also asked me what sort of underwear I was wearing and he was snooping in my bedroom to see what I’ve been wearing when he wasn’t here which I find very disturbing as he doesn’t live here anymore.
I didn’t want to argue with him no more and I went upstairs to get away from him.
In the morning I woke up and I came downstairs to make our son breakfast he was telling me I was being too loud and I was doing it on purpose but I am not going to tip toe around him just because he is sleeping and I also told him if he didn’t want this happening he should of left last night when I asked him too.
I told him that I will not allow him to come over again as when I do these sort of things happen and it just messes with my mental health.
He keeps saying that I’m delusional and that he is the best thing that has happened to me because without him I wouldn’t have what I have today.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I want him to have contact with his son but I am not willing to put my mental health on the line.
He keeps saying that he has shown me unconditional love throughout our whole relationship which isn’t true, because I feel like if he did we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. He used to be abusive towards me which left a mark on my mental health and I don’t see him the same. Also he didn’t help me out enough with our son or any chores at home. I always had to clean up after him or clean up in general because it wouldn’t of got done and he always used to tell me if you want me to do things around the house just ask me which I don’t want to do as we both have eyes and we both can see what needs to be done.
Anyway, this is my story and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you x