HI -
It's a really long, long story. But - In Feb I asked DH for a separation following years and years of emotional abuse (apparently he didn't realise what he was doing) and prolonged unemployment. His first response was that if we separated I would never see him again.
So, decided to give it anouther go on the proviso he got help. Which he has done and which has helped with the constant anger - but he is still critical, negative and self serving.
Anyway - after a great deal of soul searching I came to the decision that he really just makes me completly miserable. I don't even want to be in the same room as him etc etc. So last night asked if we could talk about our relationship and am completly gobsmaked that he is adament that it is all or nothing.
Essentially - he stays, or he goes. If he goes however - he will refuse to see the children or have anything to do with us at all.
To be honest - any respect I had left for him is gone - how can he even think of hurting his children like this? I did ask and he said it is about his self preservation and that he needs to look after himself.
So I find myself faced with the prospect of a very unhappy marraige which makes me miserable and teaches my children nothing about a good healthy relationship. Or telling the kids (10 and 8) that their father who they love - what - what would I tell them? I can't see them hurt so much - a separation woud be bad enough but with positive parenting we could muddle through - but this is just a horrible choice.
Help.