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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to keep hidden? Already doing my best to hide!

3 replies

445566m · 07/11/2025 10:02

Wasn't sure which board to post this on.
It's about an abusive ex (we share 1 child). I fled the marriage when DC was a baby, moved city, changed job, social habits and even my appearance.
Ex was deported from the UK (foreign national) due to DV convictions.
I've recently got wind that he might be hoping to get back into the UK (can't be through legal means as he's blacklisted because of his history of violence).
There's nothing to confirm he definitely IS planning on trying to get back to the UK, but I suspect it might be his intention. To attempt to get our child (I have full custody).
The police have advised that they can't do anything about this until or unless an actual crime is committed.
I've no reason to believe ex knows my current whereabouts, I never use SM and my DC is too young to be active online.
Ex has no current addresses or contact details for my family/friends.
I have good home security and never open the door unless expecting someone.
I never share personal details with strangers and share minimal information with neighbours/colleagues.
What else can I do?

OP posts:
KoalaKoKo · 07/11/2025 10:42

I am sorry for what you are going through - it might be good to confide in some people like teachers/neighbours and show your ex’s picture so they can let you know if they see him around.

For peace of mind get your kid a tracker watch or a smart watch - my nephew can be tracked from his watch and can also send messages and make calls. You can also get shoe insoles that you can hide a tracker in so you always know your child is where he is supposed to be. Depending on the age of the kid talk to him about stranger danger and calling for help if anyone tries to take him. Keep his passport in a safe!

Omgblueskys · 07/11/2025 11:38

Surely interpol will have information on him if he trys to re enter country, passport will flag up, you need to speak to these agencies including social services, they will inform you if or when he enters the country

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