Help with my mindset

[Letyourheartwin]

Just needing a hand hold and confidence boost really. Have ended a 10 year relationship this week. I could go on for hours about why but to sum up he can't manage his anger and showed so much contempt to me. I finally finished it last week and despite him wanting to try, all he did was shower me with abuse about how selfish and horrible I am while discussing it. He also told me thought the relationship was good until I became a "fcking cnt" which also coincided with me getting therapy and realising how badly he was treating me.

It's definitely done for me but why's it still so bloody hard? Not even thought about untangling the house and finances yet but just imagining life without him feels awful despite knowing it's absolutely the right thing long term and I'll be moving out in a month. Just need some help to get in the right mindset for what comes next.

Well done to you...you've done the bravest thing .. ya should pat yourself on the back and be so proud of yourself for making that big leap forward.. things will seem hard at first tearful even. Asking ya self have I done the right thing and all that . But it's normal to being going thru that after 10 years. Hey ..look the amount of time you were with that bloke you could of been with someone else. Take the leap and move forward...someone else is out there waiting for you when you are ready and when you least expect it.. love you for who you are . Find yourself and soon things will fall into place

10 years is a long time OP. Of course it will take time to get over.
And there will be the lingering longing for the person you thought he was and who you expected to be happy with.

When you done the practicalities of untangling your lives and can truly start to live your life independently from his then you can start to put the past behind you. And as you build your own life going forward you will start to feel so much better.

Best wishes for new future OP.

Well done on realising your worth and making a decision to prioritise yourself. Congratulate yourself for that and focus on a future where you will be happier. Things can only get better once you’ve removed his negative influence from your life. It will take a while but one day you’ll look back and wonder how you lived with that for so long. I do. I got emotional the other day thinking about how much of my life I wasted with someone who had grown to dislike everything about me. Now I have a wide circle of friends who seem to think I’m a good person. I am successful in my career, my children adore me and I have a partner who appreciates me for just being who I am. I am not who my ex made me think I was. Good luck on your journey through this. The practical stuff will seem daunting but it’s all perfectly do-able. Ask for help when you need it and seek out other who have or are doing the same to assist you. My closest friends now are women from work who had the same sort of experiences and helped me through it.

Appreciate the advice and feeling a bit better today but it's just so hard. I am looking forward to getting moved into the new place and try to make a fresh start