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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I imagining that my son’s basketball coach likes me?

14 replies

Cookiedoughlover9 · 06/11/2025 16:34

This school year, my son started at a new school and joined the 5th-grade basketball team. He’s fairly new to the sport—he played travel ball last year and really enjoyed it—so he was excited to try out for the school team.
The coach, who I’ll call “T,” is also one of the school’s deans and behavior managers. He oversees student conduct and helps with dismissal at the end of the day.

Here’s where things get interesting: during the first few weeks of school, I’d often arrive a bit early and wait outside the gate that opens at 3:30. I started noticing T looking at me from a distance. At first, I thought nothing of it—maybe he was just getting familiar with new parents. But as time went on, I realized he was looking more often, and when I made eye contact, he’d smile and/or quickly look away.

He’s polite but not overly talkative—sometimes he’ll ask how I’m doing, but that’s about it. Still, I’ve noticed that he gives my son extra attention during practice. He’s very encouraging and supportive toward him, even though my son is still learning the game. It’s not inappropriate or unprofessional—it just stands out compared to how he interacts with the other players. He's not mean to the other kids but he does yell at them. Not in a bad way but in a coaching type of way. But when it comes to my son he's way more soft spoken and gentle. Even when giving corrections he's more hands on and will show him what he wants him to do vs yelling like he would the other kids.

A few weeks ago, I came to school dressed up a bit more than usual, and I caught him doing a double take and watching me for a moment. I brushed it off. But the next day during dismissal he gave my son a high five a pat on the back and told him he did a great job at practice the other day which never happened until then.

Recently I noticed it his behavior towards me shifted. He was taking a few free throughs while the team warmed up. This is normal and he usually makes them. However this time he'd hit the rim sending the ball over to my direction. It could’ve easily been stopped. It wasn't like it was flying towards me at max speed. He couldve easily walked over a got it , but each time he let it roll over to me and I'd pick it up and pass it to him, he'd walk over, smile, and say, “My bad.” I'd toss it back and say "You're fine" he'd smile a little harder cock his head back and turn away. This happened about 4 or 5 times before practice officially started

Then just the other day, he saw me in the hallway and waited by the gym door to hold it open for me, even though I was still a good distance away. It was thoughtful, but it also felt a little deliberate since he really didnt have to hold it since I was a little far away.

I can’t tell if I’m overthinking all this or if there’s genuinely some mutual interest. I don’t want to misread friendly gestures, especially since he’s my son’s coach. Am I reading too much into his behavior?

OP posts:
Grilledxribs · 06/11/2025 16:47

Your overthinking it.
I dont sound like hes in to you.

Subwaystop · 06/11/2025 16:59

on mumsnet you get told that you’re imagining things. I wonder how the world continues to be populated if humans aren’t constantly crushing, flirting, having a thing and then getting together.

To me, from what you’re saying, it seems he likes you. But that doesn’t mean he’s single or a good guy.

Sidebeforeself · 06/11/2025 17:03

I think you are finding what you are looking for .All those “signs”could easily be something else.

You say the attention he gives your son stands out. I would argue that IS unprofessional.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 06/11/2025 17:12

Well we aren't in the room so you will need to use your judgement here. Is he a bit of a looker?

OneKhakiFish · 06/11/2025 17:14

No disrespect but this sounds like a paragraph from mills and boon, if they're still going! He's a grown man, if he likes you and is single he can easily speak up

Onemorestepalongtheroad · 06/11/2025 17:16

Maybe maybe not. It’s possible that he does it’s also possible to see signs if you’re looking for them. Not sure I’d be interested in a guy that yells at other kids but gives mine special attention. That makes him sound like a bit of a tit to be honest.

KitchenDancing · 06/11/2025 17:48

Sidebeforeself · 06/11/2025 17:03

I think you are finding what you are looking for .All those “signs”could easily be something else.

You say the attention he gives your son stands out. I would argue that IS unprofessional.

Yes, it is unprofessional as the kids are at a practice session. If he is giving your child extra attention that is deeply unprofessional and creepy af. If he is trying to flirt and sort his dating life out whilst he’s meant to be looking after children, that’s a really questionable thing to do. He sounds like a creep and I’d be keeping clear of him.

Nsky62 · 06/11/2025 17:52

OneKhakiFish · 06/11/2025 17:14

No disrespect but this sounds like a paragraph from mills and boon, if they're still going! He's a grown man, if he likes you and is single he can easily speak up

He can, he’s probably attached, assume so unless you know otherwise

FeistyFrankie · 06/11/2025 17:53

Sounds like he might find you attractive, but isn't interested in making a move. He would look unprofessional if he asked you out, wouldn't he?

I also find it concerning that he is treating your son differently. That strikes me as weird. Given you haven't actually had any proper conversations with him either, I'm also suspecting that he's most likely taken, and has a bit of a wandering eye.

Don't waste your time, OP. If he wanted to ask you out, he probably would have done so by now.

ginasevern · 06/11/2025 17:53

This reads like AI.

JipJup · 06/11/2025 18:15

Have you asked AI?

I'm sure it'll tell you what it thinks.

UpDownAllAround1 · 06/11/2025 18:25

Ew sounds creepy. Nah

LoyalMember · 06/11/2025 19:50

Like something from a Taylor Swift album...

Suednymph · 06/11/2025 20:04

5th GRADE? In Ireland?

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