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Original poster

Loss of libido aged 60

34 replies

MyCheekyEagle · 06/11/2025 13:10

My problem is the opposite of a recent op. I'm the one who's lost interest. I'm 60 and haven't been interested for a long time. If anything happened to my dh I would never want another relationship.
I do take care of him occasionally but it's still not fair on him to think this is it forever. Neither of us wants to split up. We love each other very much and there are no underlying resentments from me regarding him. I couldn't have asked for anything more in our marriage. He's still good looking & slim too
I sailed through menopause without hrt. I'm 7 stone overweight though and I inwardly cringe at my body being touched.
Dh still wants a fulfilling marriage with me, despite all of this. Is there any hope for us, or should i set him free.

OP posts:
Iwanttoliveinagardencentre · 07/11/2025 12:37

Gloriia · 07/11/2025 08:46

He could just have a wank yes but it isn't about ejaculating it is about the connection that there is when people have a physical relationship.

We hear it all the time, someone I know has just split from her dp of 20yrs, no sex for the last 10 and 'he was happy with that' (people have to be don't they, what choice do they have) but then it all changes when they get the chance with someone else.

I'd say to anyone who thinks their dp is happy in a sexless relationship with a sneaky wank downstairs, they aren't they are just making do until another option appears.

Edited
Show quote history

There are others ways to have a connection other than penis and vagina related.

Gloriia · 07/11/2025 12:55

Iwanttoliveinagardencentre · 07/11/2025 12:37

There are others ways to have a connection other than penis and vagina related.

Show quote history

Physical intimacy involves sexual activity. You can hold hands on the sofa yes but most want a little bit more and there is nothing grubby or wrong about that.

Nicefreshbedding · 07/11/2025 16:41

It's up to you how you proceed OP but just remember, as has been pointed out already, there is always a woman prepared to open her legs to accommodate a man who says he's not getting any at home.

It's not right and it shouldn't happen but it does.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 07/11/2025 16:47

I'd try losing weight because that seems to be real issue- it's making you not want to be touched. It will make you feel better about yourself, give you increased energy and make the coming years healthier.

highlandponymummy · 07/11/2025 20:43

It's not all about the woman taking hrt to reinstate her sex drive either. No woman should have to take hrt after 60 if she doesn't want to, the risk of cancer increases greatly after 60.

MeridaBrave · 07/11/2025 20:50

This can all be resolved with HRT and testosterone. Plus possibly WLI.

3luckystars · 07/11/2025 20:54

Gloriia · 07/11/2025 08:46

He could just have a wank yes but it isn't about ejaculating it is about the connection that there is when people have a physical relationship.

We hear it all the time, someone I know has just split from her dp of 20yrs, no sex for the last 10 and 'he was happy with that' (people have to be don't they, what choice do they have) but then it all changes when they get the chance with someone else.

I'd say to anyone who thinks their dp is happy in a sexless relationship with a sneaky wank downstairs, they aren't they are just making do until another option appears.

Edited
Show quote history

I totally agree. I often read posts here and the poster is completely stunned with an affair, totally blindsided and yet would have said they never had sex really, and he was saying he was not happy for years.

(This is not every case obviously as I do know one couple who were having regular sex and seemed very much in love but he still had his head turned.)

Most men want sex all the time. I feel sorry for them really! What a burden to carry.

For the OP, the only thing I can suggest is that the more you have the more you want to have. So if there is anything at all you like doing, even by yourself then maybe give it a go and see if things pick up.

LochSunart · 07/11/2025 21:17

@3luckystars "Most men want sex all the time."

I'll use myself as an example. I don't want sex all the time, but I would like to have sex again before I die. Being in a sexless marriage gives you no good options.

(For reference: I'd love twice a week; I'd probably settle for once a fortnight.)

MyCorporateDashboard · 07/11/2025 22:40

Screamingabdabz · 07/11/2025 00:06

Oh as per usual on these threads it’s all incumbent on the wife to medicate herself and change herself at all costs so her husband can get his dick wet. 🙄

Yes sex and intimacy is part of marriage but it’s not everything. If he ‘loves you and he’s not a sad leech’ maybe he could be more creative about how he finds sexual pleasure by himself while he adapts to the new circumstances?

What would that creativity look like exactly? What if there was a lady who was doing the same thing at the same time - what would be an acceptable approach then?

An old neighbor of mine deeply regretted his prostate cancer treatment because it robbed him and his wife of their sex life (and they were both 67 at the time) - so no I don't think "it should all be over at 60" as previous posters have said. When he passed of another illness she found another partner - seemly without too much effort as well - so I don't think it's accurate to frame this as something men seek exclusively

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