So I have left what I now know to be an emotionally abusive relationship, i don’t know how I managed 25 years without recognising it.
We haven’t split up properly but I have moved out. Due to finance I am not entitled to any share of his houses ( he refused to marry or put me on mortgages ) he has said if I don’t come back he will go halves and buy a property with me but this seems a terrible idea due to his controlling ways. also even if he went halves I can’t afford a mortgage and bills but I think it’s just something he has said so people think he’s nice, I have an appointment with a solicitor next week but until then we meet twice a week, I hate going and feel sick but feel until I know clearly about what can happen with finance I need to play along.
every week we discuss my behaviour and what it is that I have done to cause him to shout and throw things etc and any suggestion that the shouting and throwing is on him is met with eye rolls and sighs.
my question being, when you leave someone like this do you tell them their behaviour is abuse or is there no point, half of my doesn’t care how he spins the narrative to his friends and family but the other part of me wants him to understand what he’s done to me and his children. I don’t think he’s be violent toward me but he uses his size as a weapon by marching and throwing things but it’s more the financial aspect- I mean he’s only giving me 30 a week maintenance at moment anyhow but it’s better than nothing I suppose.