Husband is not in love with me anymore

[Arizonaariel]

I don’t really know what I want from this but I have no one to turn to.

My husband told me today hes not in love with me. We had an argument a few days ago , that stemmed from me feeling low and bringing this up. He always gets defensive and we both said things , but since then he began acting as normal but distant. Telling me he loves me at the end of calls but not giving me a kiss in the morning or really talking. I bought it up today and he said that he feels different since the argument and that he’s not in love with me anymore. He claims it’s from that point in the argument that he just fell out of love with me . I don’t see how that can happen he must have been feeling it.

We have had problems before but he’s never said he doesn’t love me. He’s always acted as though I am his world and no matter what happens we will never break up but now he’s just adamant we’re over.

I don’t know what to do. I’m falling apart. I don’t know how to live without him. Financially , I absolutely can’t cope I won’t even be able to pay the rent each month. He’s just acting as though I don’t exist.

I haven’t ever felt pain like this.

Its so hard. My partner of 8yrs has told me last week he feels we have grown apart and are more like best friends. Its broken me. It feels like its come out of no where. I know exactly how you are feeling. No advice but here to vent to if needed. Hopefully someone will be along to offer more advice.

Thank you , I hope you are ok .

It’s hard when it comes from nowhere isn’t it.

He has a tendency to say “ let’s just end it then” when we argue which is an issue as I tell him it makes me insecure that he jumps to that and although I never beg him or anything it is always me that approaches him first about fixing things and after he will say he never wants to be without me etc but now i feel like this is too far how do I get past that if he says he didn’t mean it because it’s a big thing to say that. A part of me is also thinking if in the past I hadn’t tried to fix it would he have been happy for us to be over , is it what he really wants and now he’s at the point where he’s just done.

Yet , still I’m sat here hoping he didn’t mean it. Willing to change even though I don’t see what I’m doing wrong and accept things how they have been and just keep quiet , even though I’m not happy … all just to keep him. I feel pathetic x

He’s being emotionally abusive. He knows you don’t want to break up and he’s punishing you for the argument. It’s like when people use the silent treatment. You shouldn’t always be the one to resolve things. If I were you I would calmly tell him you accept his decision as you can’t be with someone who doesn’t love you and is happy to end things after one argument. I’m sure that will probably scare the shit out of him. But ultimately if he’s willing to let you go just to have the upper hand then is that really a relationship you want? Start planning practical steps to leave. Find your strength and anger for how he is treating you.

This. Or cherchez la femme. Either way, I think it's over OP, I'm sorry

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP, I would say once you hit the point where he is saying he doesn’t love you anymore it is over and you’re best off spending your time and energy accepting that & making your own plans for the future rather than dwelling and hoping he will change his mind.

He either is telling the truth and has fallen out of love or he is using it to hurt you and make you behave how he wants (that is not love either)

I'm sorry you've had such a hurtful shock OP but he doesn't sound like a loving partner, he sounds manipulative. Can you get some support from family and friends? You can speak to Citizen's Advice about your financial situation and they can point you in the right direction. Things seem bleak now but you will be ok. Look after yourself lovely 💐

OP - it's hard to tell much from a few posts - but it seems that the two of you argue often, and now you both are exhausted with it.

You feel down - and picked up another argument. He said what he said - possibly because the endless cycle of arguments is unbearable.

Instead of sitting there and hoping he meant this or that - I think you need to think about how to deal with the actual issues in your relationship that lead to the frequent arguing. And possibly - consider couples counselling - where you can talk about the issues and your communication style when you do argue.

Hi op I think he is emotionally avoidant and is only a fair weather husband.

It sounds like something has got his attention and it took his eyes off you. You must find out why and try to work it out with him. The best way to do this is counseling for couples. I believe sometimes its good to try new things together.

No advice but unfortunately know how it feels. When there's no arguments, no cheating just someone no longer sees you as their person and no longer can see you growing old together, that hurts too. Had that bombshell dropped this week 😥