I’ve been married to my husband for almost 20 years, both late 40s. We have children and day-to-day life is currently stable after a recent confrontation in which separation was strongly considered on my part. Since then DH has been putting in much more effort to help me, be more involved with family life, be supportive & communicate better.
However for years before this, things weren’t great. He was emotionally distant and dismissive, and I often felt unseen and under appreciated left carrying the mental load which built up a lot of resentment and distance in me. Now that he’s trying, I can see it and I do appreciate it, but Im struggling to feel anything romantic anymore.
There’s no anger, just a sort of flatness and physical affection feels awkward for me, like something I feel obligated to do rather than because I want to do it. I keep wondering if this is just emotional burnout that could recover with time, or if it means the romantic love has gone?
I care about him very much as a person, but I just don’t know if I’m still in love with him which makes me sad.
Has anyone been through this and found the feelings came back once trust and connection were rebuilt? Or did you reach a point where you realised it had changed for good?