How to deal with overbearing friend

[Fluffymammoth]

I have been friends with this person for a long time but this friend has started to be quite overbearing, if I mention casually joining a club she will join it despite not being interested in the activity as she says she gets fomo, if she finds out I am going out say with a group of friends for lunch she will be in the cafe where we are going when we get there, its almost like she doesnt like me doing anything without her, in the past I have included her in other friendship groups but the dynamic changes and she tends to belittle me in a group so now I avoid this and usually just meet her one to one but Im starting to wonder if this friendship has run its course

I dont feed her details so she turns up to
embarrass herself, why would I do that? I actually try to be as vague as I can usually She actually does have a lot of friends of her own but has said herself she gets fomo if I do things with other people.

I had this in the workplace. Was suffocated and smothered. I was lucky enough to be able to leave and go NC but she tried to pursue me for years until giving up. It’s fucking awful

Why tell her anything at all? Most people don’t go into detail.

Tell her no more!

She is not your friend. At all. Friends don’t belittle.

What are you reading? This friend you are feeling sorry for is the one who is belittling op in front of other friends. Why would op enjoy that?

Its nice to have a friend like this. But overbearing connecting do not give us peace. I think you must bring it to her attention and tell her you want space and set the dynamics to be seen. You must tell her when she can and cannot come over.

She sounds awful! I despise people who belittle others in social situations, especially when it's because of their lack of social awareness or blames on social anxiety.

Send her a message saying you feel the dynamic of your friendship has changed and no longer brings you joy. You feel belittled by her and find it difficult to socialise in groups because she targets you. You'd prefer to not spend as much time together going forward.

You owe her nothing!

This did make me laugh, your right I should be more assertive, its weird because its a purely me thing she doesnt do this to any of her other friends but I am the one she has known longest, with others she is sweetness and light and the belittling and digs are quite sly so I always think about what I should have said later

Thank you, I was surprised when Ive met some new friends that they dont do this and belittle me, I found I was waiting for the sting in the comment with new friends and then surprised when they were genuinely kind, thats opened my eyes to her behaviour more and made me think sometimes I dont think she likes me very much despite insisting on seeing me when Ive tried to back off in the past when I have been hurt by comments.

Op has no need to say anything about her plans, and yet she not only tells her friend who she is meeting, where she is going - she even gives her the time! Therefore probably giving her friend the impression she is invited.

At best op is over sharing with her overbearing ‘stalker’ - worse case she is just playing games.

Friendship doesn’t work like this where I live. You either include others, if you can, or you give scant details and talk about things are both interested in.

If she is someone that ‘belittles’ you why is she even a friend? This just baffles me.

She has no friends and people avoid her but you darling…

It's run its course
Serve her a plate of ice cold shoulder