Have I gone off sex for good?

[Tammygirl12]

I’m 34, married with 3 small children (youngest is 5 months). I can’t work out how I’ve got here but I’ve got the biggest ick for sex.
I don’t have a particularly happy marriage (happy sometimes but also a husband with a temper issue).
Prior to my husband I had a boyfriend of 6 years and we had the most electric amazing sex. I would have married him but he finished with me. I suppose my heart will always think of him fondly.
Prior to that I had a string of shorter relationships and flings. Lots of casual sex.
Sex with my husband is very meh because I don’t feel a connection with him particularly since his anger, depression and anxiety has got worse over the years.
After dc1 my libido came back and I would see hot sex scenes on tv and feel like a normal person I suppose. But lately a sex scene on tv makes me feel ugh and I feel repulsed and disgusted by flirty dirty texts from my husband or even reading about other people’s sex lives on mumsnet even. I think it’s wider than not just feeling like having sex with my husband.

am I broken?! Is this an age thing, a marriage thing, a post partum thing? I just feel completely asexual now. A friend of mine from uni who does not know this is how I feel, recently mentioned how I used to love sex and she was always hearing me through the wall. It felt like she was talking about someone else like it was a lifetime ago. I replied to her ‘really? Was that me?’ It just feels so alien to me.

i can’t work out if ive lost that part of me or it was just being in my twenties that made me sexually liberated.

You’re not broken; your marriage is.
It’s normal not to want sex with someone you don’t like.
Why do you keep having babies with him?

No you've just gone off your husband, with good reason by the sounds of it.

In hindsight getting the ick for my husband and my sex drive disappearing was a sign my marriage was over.

In fact, a couple of therapists have said to me since that often our bodies know what our minds haven’t yet accepted. I gave it several years and it never came back. I separated from my husband and my sex drive is back to normal.

Why do you keep having babies?!

I don't think the problem is sex, I think the problem is your husband. You say your marriage is not happy and your husband has a temper - do you not think this is why you don't want to have sex with him?

Having 3 small children including a young baby is intensely physically exhausting and by the end of the day you feel so tired and touched out that it can feel like sex is yet another demand on your body. I think you need to feel close and supported by your partner to even feel like making the effort.

You need to sort out the relationship with your husband and confront the issue of his behaviour.

Yes, exactly this. I hadn’t had sex for about three years - and good sex for at least ten - and now I’m divorced and having unbelievable amounts of the best sex with a new partner.

Its not you love!