I am at a complete loss of what to do or where to go from here.
Today I told my vile narcissistic husband that I want to separate, and he has thrown everything at me.
I work 2 evenings a week in a restaurant. Every week without fail he causes issues before I go in to make me late. He quite frequently calls me and texts me ranting and raving about looking after the kids DD1(6)& DD2(18m). He’s also made me leave early on 3 occasions claiming that they’re ‘sick’ when it’s been something he could deal with. I have dinner ready for them, and they go to bed at 7pm. He has to do very little. He bitches and moans constantly that he has to do this ‘for me’.
On Friday just as I was leaving for work he called me a ‘tramp’ in front of my children, because I asked him to pick something up more than once and I was irritated with him. I didn’t call him names, I didn’t shout, I just sounded annoyed and that was enough to warrant name calling.
I was shaking with rage and so upset all through my shift. He did apologise the next day, but told me I was too sensitive.
He took himself for a walk yesterday, but really he went to the pub and told me he’d be home at 5 at the latest. I had dinner ready for him. It was 7.30 before he came home, and was verbally abusive again.
He’s in the pub daily, but doesn’t think it’s a problem. He doesn’t get super drunk, but enough to come home and try to annoy me, or be nasty. He will start insulting me and my family members.
He has a job WFH and walks DD1 to school every morning (5mins), and picks her up sometimes. This is the extent of his parenting. He can’t handle looking after them at all, if I go anywhere alone he starts bombarding me with phone calls to come back as soon as possible. I do absolutely everything for the kids, and everything around the house.
Honestly what I’ve shared is the tip of the iceberg. I know everyone is thinking ‘why did you marry him’. Truthfully because I thought it would be easier than breaking it off with him. I’ve tried a few times and he has threatened to ruin my life, and I believe him.
I’ve had enough though. I feel like I am a single mum already. I know life will be easier in the long run if we separated. I don’t want my kids growing up hearing him speaking to me like shit.
Today I told him to pack his bags. My cousin owns the house we live in, and he said he wants all the rent he’s paid back from her. He said he’ll ‘shop her in’ (under what basis I’ve no idea), he’ll report my dad who’s self employed to HMRC so they’ll
investigate his every move, said he’ll ‘shop my sister and BIL in’ (I really don’t know what they’ve done??). He started casting up every private matter I’ve shared with him as my husband. He said he’ll report me to social services. He even threatened to get my 98 year old grandmother kicked out of her care home.
He told DD1 my parents don’t care about her and that mummy was making him leave. She was crying.
Tomorrow he will have calmed down, and he will try to pretend I’m overreacting and say ‘let’s move on’. I hate him.
What the fuck do I do?! How can I get this horrible man to leave?