I have posted about this issue before, however, the situation is now reaching a crisis point.
My son (13) since I separated from DH, now lives with his Dad in the family home. As time has gone on, my time with my son has become less and less and now I see him for a couple of hours per week. We did agree to 50/50 custody.
What is concerning me is that he’s now losing contact with his grandparents (my parents) and only seeing his Dads parents for extended periods every day. My ex has handed over all of our sons care to his Mother when my ex is in work (12 hour shifts) So after school until 8.30pm, in the school holidays for 12 hours per day and also on my ex’s days off he spends them with his Mother. My son’s life is becoming insular, just his Dad and Grandmother everyday, despite me living nearby and being available. Ex works nights and has sometimes cancelled them as “There’s no-one to look after DS” (His mother was on holiday, I was close by and available.)
The only guaranteed day that DS sees my parents is a Saturday for a couple of hours and the last two Saturdays my ex has text saying that DS is too tired and won’t be seeing them. My parents are very upset and have bought him food which gets wasted. My parents have been a constant in DS life and MIL has been inconsistent, sometimes going for 6 months or more with no contact, now she is a heavy influence in his life. She is bipolar, toxic and unstable (regularly under the crisis team) I am concerned.
He also has a brother who is with me 5 nights per week, he is now losing contact with his sibling and I no longer see both my children together, interacting etc. His sibling is disabled and much younger than his years but calls out for his brother and looks for him 😢
The situation is messy with no schedule or definite days when me, sibling or my parents see DS. All time is monopolised by ex and his Mother. I don’t believe this is in his best interests as a relationship with his mother, sibling and grandparents should be encouraged.
In half term I saw DS once on the Monday and every other day he spend with MIL in her house or with his Dad just the two of them.
I am powerless as to what is happening and it’s almost 3 weeks since my parents saw DS. It feels like the longer this goes on the more that it will become normal for DS to only see his Dad and his grandmother. It feels like the grandmother has now replaced me. This routine is now cementing, I fear. It will just become DS’ new normal 😢 Please help. She is not a good person, ex says I’m lucky as she is capable of making my life hell. He tells me she detests me.