I think my marriage is over..

[Despair7]

I’m in tears in my bed with nobody to talk to. My husband and I have sat in the same room all night and nobody has uttered a word. I’ve tried but get no reply. We’ve had fall outs in the past but it’s never been this bad.

It’s been a tough year for many reasons and I think it’s tipped us over the edge. My husband feels like I disagree with everything he says. I feel like he drinks too much and won’t get help for his low mood.

We’ve been married 15 years, we have 2 young children, I’m just sad.

Same here 😔
He looks annoyed by me just trying to have a conversation with him. I was told that I'm 'too sensitive' tonight which I challenged, but apparently he doesn't care.
Suddenly feels like the moment of no return.

I have been there and the lack of communication is heartbreaking. I know how you feel and I had young children but you need to think about what you want. No big decisions don't get sad start thinking about you . I wish you well

Have you fallen out over something this time or is it just frosty silence for no real reason?

Either way I'm sorry. It's horrible to feel that disconnect from someone you love 💐

He drinks too much and gives you the silent treatment for hours like a petulant teenager? Sounds like you’re better off without.

You deserve better, both OP and next P. Hugs to you.
I’ve been in your shoes. Its awful to be treated like that, like you are standing in your partners way. And the drinking and the moodswings.
For me it ended in divorce. Not my decision, but it should have been.
Best whishes to you in a difficult time.

I’m sorry @Shhhhitsmagic 😞, it’s tough

No we havent had a big fall out or anything. Have just nipped at each other regarding little things and it’s all stemmed from there

I keep thinking about what my kids are witnessing and how it’s damaging them

It’s ok getting divorced OP. I mean it’s horrid actually doing it, but the other side is brilliant. Imagine having cooked the kids and yourself a nice dinner, seeing them goof about while you do the washing up to trashy kitchen radio, then you sit on your couch and contemplate things. text a few friends before starfishing on your bed. Yes there are money worries and trauma, but that’s how I’ve spent my evening. X

I spent 17 years in a marriage that was like this for the final 2 years. It is soul destroying.

Try marriage counselling first, do not call it quits yet. Divorce should happen if all other remedies have failed. There is something that works in time.

My husband used to work away a lot and life was so much easier when he was away. The house was more relaxed and I felt I could do what I want.

It really is soul destroying. He slept on the couch last night for the first time too so that’s another kick in the stomach.

My sibling had marriage counselling and he husband told me he would never do it. He said if you need counselling then the marriage is done.. so that’s not an option

We are the same here. Things aren't good. The big arguments, kicking off, shouting and gesticulating don't happen anymore. He knows I will end the relationship. Now it's stonewalling and low level contempt. There's eye rolling, taking it out in me when he's stress or something goes wrong,talking to me like im shit. If I raise it then I'm sensitive, and it's my problem for taking it personally. I've explained that it's okay to be frustrated, but it's not okay to take it out on the people around you. We have no intimacy. I am not loved, valued or supported. He's promised change, counselling and the world really but it comes to nothing. Promises of change without action are just a form of manipulation. It's actually soul destroying. It's like having a flay mate that hates your guts and can't stand the sight of you.

Life shouldn’t be that awful. Take steps to change it.
Life is much happier without the miserable fucker in your house.
It's often a tough process to get rid of them but completely worth it.

@WhatAKnob47 sorry to hear that you’re in the same boat.

I totally agree with everything you’ve said. He said a few weeks back that we needed time to ourselves and maybe a night away but won’t bother to make plans for it, it’s like he only suggested it to make himself look like he was trying. We havent been intimate in over a month. Flat mates who hate each others guts sound right too. He talks to me like he absolutely fucking hates me.

Op if he says he says the marriage is done when people get counselling then there’s a big question to ask him- is our marriage done? People can break up or work through things. They’re the options cut and dry. If you say life was easier when he wasn’t there that’s leaning towards number 1. You need to have a think of whether you can both get back to the you’re a team thing and get through the exhausting thing called life (especially with young kids) but not talking to each other for so long- it’s not living. Talk to him. If you want to ask him the big question but it is an awful can of worms which you need to know could end you but somethings got to give anyway. I’m sorry op

It's hard. What are the barriers to you leaving?