Is this a panic attack?

[Lifecouldbeadreamsweetheart]

My ex recently got in touch after three years of no contact. During the latter stages of our relationship he and I had some conversations which basically ruined me - heartbreaking, confidence smashing conversations in which he slow-motion dumped me and destroyed the life I had spent years thinking we'd eventually have.

When he got back in touch I agreed to meet for a coffee, and at that meeting he again revealed some things which I hadn't known until then but which broke my heart all over again.

He has since texted a few times. Never with a tone other than friendliness, but on the last two occasions when I have received his texts I have had uncontrollable shakes. One time was in work and a colleague got so worried that she wanted to call an ambulance. I was very embarrassed but honestly could not stop. I think it was some kind of fear-based automatic response. I had had several completely ruinous conversations in a row, and here was potentially another one.

Is this a panic attack? I don't know what to call it. Was it something else that has a name? I would like to be able to describe it as a simple thing rather than 'involuntary uncontrollable shaking' so that he knows what all of this is doing to me.

I’m very sorry that happened to you, @Lifecouldbeadreamsweetheart.

It could well be a panic attack. It certainly sounds like it.
My advice would be to keep well away from this man. He enjoys hurting you.
He enjoys seeing that pained look on your face while you have these ‘conversations’.

You’re worth so much more than this.

So I don’t know that it’s a panic attack. I do know what you mean because it sometimes happens to me. I also get very cold along with the shaking. I have had what I’d describe as a panic attack and they were different. This I’d say is almost more of a trauma response. It’s like a very somatic experience of trauma in the body, rather than a panic attack.

It’s def a symptom of what you have gone through. But the important thing is too address the cause - block and go no contact. They are an ex for a reason

Trauma response might be a good description, thank you. It definitely is a response to emotional trauma and the threat of more. I wish I could control it. I feel such an over reactor! I hate drama.

Yes it sounds like a trauma response OP. Take control here and block him on everything so he has no way of getting in touch with you. Please do not consider having any kind of contact, you need to protect yourself.

Thanks. Having looked at Google this evening I wonder if I could be experiencing neurogenic tremors. Seems so mad to basically have a symptom of PTSD. I thought that soldiers got that from wars! Or people who saw murders or whatever. My body and brain are funny things.

When I’m doing something extremely stressful or something that is to do with work (very trauma heavy past roles) I will get cold , exhausted and shaky. I’ve had panic before and that was more sick, shaky, feeling like I’m going to pass out and need to escape x

While shaking can be a symptom of panic attacks, it usually involves other physical symptoms such as sweating, nausea, feeling like you can't breathe/chest pain/heart thumping, visual or auditory disturbance, feeling like you're going to pass out, dizziness, wanting to run away/escape. A panic attack can involve some of these symptoms but not necessarily all.

I would block your ex so that he can't message you again and don't meet up with him again. If he was cruel and hurtful to you during your break up, you don't owe him anything. If you're still feeling that you need some support, I would look into some counselling.

You have to kick him to the curb.