Testing boundaries

[testingboundary1]

Looking for solidarity really & advice!
I moved to a senior role this year which I was very happy about and have worked hard for.
I have a team. Before I joined, one of my direct reports stepped up to do the role temporarily. This person knows the job itself very well, is popular (I think) and outspoken. She went for my role and didn't get it, but fully expected to. Instead offered another role. I think this person really resents me and doesn't hold back in undermining me at times in meetings. Some meetings I join I now feel uncomfortable. This person has not helped me at all, I was expecting a handover but instead I think they think they are the manager. I feel a little bullied and I find the behaviour disruptive. I have no doubt trying to influence others against me, which i feel unfair, like they want me to fail. This person is friendly with my line manager, so ive been reluctant to share fully. On meeting for the first time someone, another manager openly said in front of people they dont like me. ive done nothing to deserve it. ive tried my best to build relationships but I dont know what im going to get each day. How do I deal with this? As always with bullies, its very subtle and 'clever"

What have you done so far to address the behaviour? How long have you been in the role - do you do a monthly 121 with your reports, if so have you raised the issue of her undermining you in meetings?

On meeting for the first time someone, another manager openly said in front of people they dont like me
I don't really understand this - you were introduced to a colleague and the person said "I don't like you!" just apropos of nothing? Surely whoever introduced you must have thought they were barking mad!

You have been set up to fail.
it’s always hard to bring in an outsider over the head of a person who wanted the job, and is friendly with your manager.

It’s a fight I wouldn’t bother with and all my time would be in job searching.
Sorry about this, it is really shoddy of the new company to do this to you

It was a group event and someone else said she didn't like me.
I do think by addressing it, it could make the behaviour worse unfortunately

Why would they hire me to set me up to fail? I dont understand. It has crossed my mind to start looking.

They may not have done it on purpose, but the woman who applied internally would need to literally be a saint not to be very very unhappy that she didn’t get the job.
Quite ordinary people can be irrational when they have been slighted, even insulted, by not having their skills recognised and promoted.
it’s not really personal against you, she would have been awful to anyone who got the job she thought she was capable of.

very unprofessional to keep her in the team alongside you.

so this is the situation that you can’t win, so will fail

Im not going to let it fail, I want to be successful in my new role.
I do understand shes unhappy, but she has been promoted into a different role.
Her behaviour highlights why she didn't get the job i guess. Bad mouthing anyone to feel in control, like bullies do. I had a positive conversation with my line manager today which brings me hope.
How she is behaving is very immature.

You're not going to fail OP. But don't let anyone convince you that you should be "grown up enough" or a "half decent manager enough" to sort this out yourself. Ask your manager for help, and if they don't step up, insist.

Trust me, I've been there.

Thank you @BustPipes Its evident how much her behaviour affects me as im so much more relaxed when she's on annual leave. I find her suffocating. Its disruptive and I can sense she has talked about me to others before meetings. I dont know these people but its dissapointing im made to feel judged. I haven't done anything? No, I dont know the role fully, im learning but it would have been good to have her support. She is supposed to be my support, so she actually isn't really fulfilling her role. She tells me minimum. As my confidence is increasing I feel there will be a time I can address it. How did you get through it @BustPipes ? did their behaviour change?

I think audit trail is your friend here. So if you need her support with a task, email her to ask her to do it - then if she only tells you half the information for example you can refer back to it later. She might be trying to make you look incompetent so you need to cover yourself.

I've had your exact scenario before. I accepted that the people she was trying to influence would make their own judgement of me in time and putting all my energy into going over the top to prove her wrong or assert myself was time away from learning the core role. Fortunately she got another job soon after.

Yes i think shes picking up on any questions/mistakes which I will make, as thats part of the learning process and undermining me. It has ripped away at my confidence, but I have used other resources and as my knowledge is increasing, I can see what shes doing. I didn't notice at first. She can be nice and supportive of others which is why people like her, but they dont see what shes doing with me. ive even heard bitchy giggles in the background 🙄 Anyone worth knowing would see through this. I just need to keep my own spirits up in the meantime. Everyone seems to pander to her, although I could be wrong!