I feel stuck with what to do.

[BearOverThere]

I have a 13 month old. Third pregnancy, following one miscarriage, and one medical termination due to severe hyperemisis (no medication worked). Had hyperemisis with my son too but somehow pulled through. Traumatic birth, tongue tied baby, partner started a business which he took a big personal loan for.
I lost it when my son was 6 months old. Now left with severe postnatal anxiety and OCD. I’m under the perinatal team and find daily living so hard but I push on every day. Recently returned to work part time but only doing 13 hours with the rest holiday.
My partner had to close the business due to losses and errors and running out of money. I couldn’t be left alone after being under the crisis team due to mental health.
I’ve done a lot of this parenting thing on my own. All I ever get from my partner is he “works all day” and we’ve had countless countless conversations and arguments over this. He wants to have a more physical relationship but I just don’t have any libido at all. I honestly manage the mental load constantly and it’s so hard. Refused to take any time off work when my son fell off the sofa and hit the stone floor as he left him on there alone, and we were in A&E. So I had to sort out working from home with a baby and an 18 month old nephew and my mum here (nephew is under my mums care.)
Comments have been thrown at me about my mental health as any other man would have left apparently. You’ve probably heard this before but I am so shocked he’s behaved like this the last year. I never saw it coming.
We bought a house together, lived here almost 3 years. We’re now in debt due to his large loan, my loan and credit card I’m working part time to pay off however he has defaulted.
we had genuinely the loveliest relationship before all this but I am so tired of having to beg for his help. It’s the most tedious little things. Everyone around us has had conversations with him because they are sick of how he treats me and leaves it all to me.
I feel I resent him and I really want nothing more than my mental health problems to disappear and be back to where we were but I just feel it’s a lifetime away. Help. X

Hi Bear - I couldn’t read this and run. My best friend also had severe HG and I’ve seen the impact on her mental health and her relationship. There are three parts to this - your mental health, your collective financial situation, and your relationship. RE your mental health it’s great you’ve got support, have you engaged with Pregnancy Sickness Support at all? They are brilliant. RE finances, have you sought any professional help? You can try StepChange or MoneyHelper which offer free impartial advice. Finally your relationship sounds like it would benefit from couples therapy. It sounds like those closest to you recognise your relationship isn’t healthy and your partner isn’t as supportive as they could be. I’m sure they will support you whatever you decide but remember it’s ok to accept that you can’t change some people and that you might be better off without them. I’m not telling you to leave them, but if you can’t solve the problems you’re facing together then sometimes time apart is worth exploring x

Thanks so much for your reply. I have so much support under the perinatal team. They come to the house plenty, theres a group i go to. I think we’ve just lost that time and respect for each other. Super hard when he works Monday to Saturday and I work Sunday to Tuesday! I’m having some hormone tests done at the doctors next week as something just isn’t right still. Hopefully they give me the results I need to get back to where I need to be mentally.

I’m really sorry you’re struggling. It sounds tough and you definitely have a lot going on. Unfortunately I don’t have any advice but I hope things get better for you x