Husband buying a boat

[Urbandino]

So my husband and I are not in a good place. He moved into the spare room earlier this year.
This week he ask if he had 17k to spend. I told him no as our money is shared and he's gone and got a loan to buy the boat.

We don't argue and have been sharing all the kid tasks (he drives them to their activities as I don't drive). We are more like housemates now although I still do the majority of cleaning and cooking tasks.

He's talking about living in the boat and leaving selling the house until after ds alevels next year. He's pretty much unaware of what money we do have as he's never taken an interest some is in shared accounts that i think hes forgotten passwords etc. We have no mortgage on the house. Is it possible to safeguard this money until we divorce by putting it in accounts he doesnt have access to until we do the financial split as I just think he would spank it all away without a care or will the courts look down on this? Once we do the divorce I will disclose all the accounts.

If money is in a joint account, it is as much his as yours. Open up your own account and start putting money aside for divorce

Money is seen as jointly owned.

Why the delay in divorcing him at all ?. Am certain your DS is acutely aware of what’s going on and this is no conducive atmosphere for either revision or studying.

Joint account but who puts the most in it every month?
either way, as pp says start putting your money into your accounts.

it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be able to get some of your money in a divorce ( you might be the high earner here ), but it stops him spending your money sitting in a joint account.

once you have your own account(s) set up, take out from the joint account, what you feel is the fair proportion of what you’ve contributed to it.

also, this loan he’s taken, can you find out if its solely in his name? It should be.

i would find out too where the money to repay said loan is coming from.

On a far wider level this is really shit for the kids. It’s no real consolation you’re not arguing either as they are picking up on all the vibes here, both spoken and unspoken, between you two.

Won't the loan be seen as a joint debt? If so I would at least safe guard that amount. The boat may become a joint asset but boats do not keep their value so you'll not get back what he paid for it.

Why didn’t you want him to access the 17K from joint savings, if he’s contributed to the savings. He’s doing something to help him move out which isn’t going to take 50/50 from house/savings. Most people I know when they start divorcing suddenly go out and buy expensive cars.

Only if loan in joint names. If not, his responsibility only

Ahh fair enough, I thought it might be seen as a joint debt.

We have some savings but not 17k and our house needs a new bathroom.. there is no bath and a hole in the floor where the old shower was and a hole in the wall where he removed the tiles and got frustrated.

Him taking the savings would wipe us out and he already bought a more expensive car earlier in the year.

He already has a boat.

Loan is in his name.

The short answer is no, you can’t hide joint money to prevent him accessing it. It’s not just your money.

This is 100% incorrect in terms of divorce. OP do some reading and get advice from a solicitor. In the uk everything is part of marital assets - all properties, savings, cars, pensions, and all secured and unsecured debts regardless of who took what and why.

So you have no shower or bath. All the children notice this.

You write he already has a car and boat so has he now bought another boat ?.

What is stopping you starting the divorce process now?.

hmmmm I am sure a court would agree that wife is having no benefit from the boat therefore his debt

No that’s not the case. Please don’t mislead the OP. I’ve just been through a divorce - my ex had a 20k loan which he took for his own benefit and it was still part of the pot. If he had any decency he would have offered to consider it his - but legally it was shared.

In a long marriage, ALL assets and debts are legally shared, regardless of who earnt what or borrowed where.

The boat will become part of the marital pot during a divorce. As will the debt for it.

No, you can't prevent access to your joint savings to your husband. This is financial abuse.

If I were in your shoes I’d take half of whatever is currently in the joint savings and move it to an account of my own. Then, I’d ensure that my own income going forwards also goes into my own account, moving only whatever is needed for my share of joint bills to the joint account each month.

We have another shower.

Before the house can be sold we need to get building control sign off so I need to get someone to do that work and then do the divorce. He will get arsey if I start the divorce as he wants this all on his terms and I don't want to lose any goodwill.

So basically sounds like I am screwed then. He can either take out loans or spend all the money and there's nothing I can do. Cos I assume even if I take my half and save what there is and he spends his. My savings is still joint assets and would be halved at time of divorce.

I'll leave his half of the savings where they are then and hope he doesnt remember the login details.

This was a while ago so you need up to date legal advice but as soon as my Father realised my Mum was going to divorce him he ran through any joint savings as fast as he could and ran up as much debt as possible out of pure spite.
She was absolutely screwed

Your kids all too readily notice their dad’s diy handiwork screwup in the bathroom.

Re your h surely there is now no goodwill to be lost. He’s already behaving like an arse and delaying the divorce at all will not change that.

True he is but I can see him making it more difficult with me getting quotes for the work that's needed for BC sign off and of course to at least have the bathroom looking normal. If he moves to his boat and thinks he's in control then I can probably get the works done without his input.

@Urbandino He cannot spend recklessly to deprive you of money. I’d see a solicitor right now. You need to understand his assets are yours too. As are his debts. Why waste more time while he racks up debts? However if he moves out, he would be paying rent!

I would put the savings into another account that he cannot access, just so you can get the bathroom finished, or take out some cash each week, not everyone will agree, but that’s what I would do.

I'd get that bathroom work done right now.