In laws drama

[Franny0696]

Me and my husband have been married for 6 years together 14 with 2 kids. And over the past year it's been very rocky for us as my husband came out and admitted he has a gambling addiction fast forward to now and he is 10 month no gambling and all is going well. (It's been very very difficult)

Over the past few years both sets of parents have helped us out a lot financially and we are totally 100% grateful for it. And as of this month we will be back to square one in terms of finances and made a plan to start paying both sets of parents back in the new year, which my parents are absolutely fine about (until we are back on our feet they don't want nothing from us just want us to be happy)

This past year has been terrible although my husband caused the gambling it has taken a massive mental toll on his mentsk health and he has been working on himself and thankfully he is and seems like a changed man.

His mum and dad are together and his mum wears the trousers in the relationship what she says goes end of. When this all came out about the gambling she wanted his bank statements everything which he provided and wanted to see everything which is totally understandable. All was going fine months later she would ring him up every other night asking for him to randomly send his bank statements through, asking him 100000 and 1 questions but she wouldn't ask she would scream and then name call. In the space of 1/2 months they had about 5 explosive rows.

I don't like to get involved but I have told him he should make amends even no the arguments weren't his fault but he said n he's sick of getting spoken to like that especially when the kids are sat next to him.

My daughter and son had a joint party beginning of September and his dad came and she didn't. Brought presents round for my daughter nothing for my son. Apparently they still have his present as she messaged me and she said when your free pop in and get it.

Which 1. Why should I? Come see your grand kids!!

1. I feel like she will interrogate me about my husband etc as she likes to put things into my head.

What do you think I should do about this situation. I feel bad for my kids we live 10 mins away but I don't want to false a relationship. If they want to have a relationship with my kids they should be the ones to try not me right?

This is a DH issue to solve not yours. Treat him like a manchild if you want

Id of called it a day on discovery of gambling, lies etc

When this all came out about the gambling she wanted his bank statements everything which he provided and wanted to see everything which is totally understandable.
is it?

but I have told him he should make amends even no the arguments weren't his fault
why

What do you think I should do about this situation.
pay them back as quickly as possible, don’t loan anymore money from them, don’t let them
be as overinvolved in your lives, don’t let them
treat your children differently, otherwise leave dh to deal with them

He owes her money, along with others.

He shouldn't have taken her money if he didn't want her to have access to his financials.

She, along with your parents saved you guys from financial ruin that he caused. Get extra jobs and pay them back ASAP.

1. She has absolutely no right to any of his financial information. None. Encourage him to change all of his passwords. Yes he borrowed money but if he plans to pay her back then he should come up with a payment plan. That still doesn't give her any right to look at his financials.

2. Why the hell are you encouraging him to 'make amends' for arguments he didn't cause? What on earth are you doing! You're not helping him be a bigger person, your telling him to make himself a bigger doormat. WTF is wrong with you? If he doesn't want to speak to his parents then that's up to him. Let him make the decision, it's his family.

3. If they want a relationship with the kids then they need to work for it. Stop chasing them. You do need to put your foot down though and tell her she can't treat the kids like crap. Why are you even allowing it? What's all this crap about birthday presents and one being at her house and not bothering with the party. Tell her to stop behaving like a fucking baby.

4. Good luck with your OH. I dated a gambling addict and he ruined my life for a long time. I hope he really has changed but you need all the luck in the world on that one!