Dating as a single parent?

[MakeItMake]

Does anyone else feel this way? So I want to date but not as a single parent? 🤔 I don’t want to introduce anyone to my kids, arrange childcare etc all sounds like a massive headache. But at the same time don’t want anything casual or fwb. I’m not sure what I want, casual doesn’t work for me as I hate feeling like I’m only good for one thing and unpopular opinion but I feel men benefit way more from it than women (speaking from my experience only) but at the same time dating as a single parent seems absolutely impossible (unless you have 50/50 lots of child care etc) how have other single parents found it?

My post-divorce dating phase was pure hell. They were all dysfunctional losers in one way or another. I thought the first one was bad luck, but then two more came along with different (but equally awful) problems. It is not easy to find someone decent and undamaged, and that becomes more challenging with age. I have given up and accepted that single life is for me. I don't want any more lies, cock lodgers, complicated or needy life situations of others invading my free time. I am sure there are some nice men out there somewhere, but I never found one who was a keeper in ten years of trying. I reflect sometimes on who I have attracted etc, but when I start to ponder if it is a 'me' problem then I look around. Sadly, I know a lot of people stuck in bad relationships and marriages, and they are trapped by financial bonds, cultural pressure or psychological insecurities. I would not want to be them, and start to value my single life for the freedom and independence it affords me. So you are not alone in your mindset. Life is too short to be chasing improbable outcomes, especially when single parenthood is hard work any day of the week. It is not impossible to find someone to date as a single parent, but it requires a lot of effort. Whether that effort is worth it or not is a personal decision. For me, I just realised that I enjoyed my free time doing other stuff apart from dating disappointments.

Its good to date and have children while dating. It comes naturally with discussions and planning while dating.

I feel exactly the same way!!
Single mum, kids do see their dad once a week but that's only one night I can go out without the faff of arranging babysitting etc. I work shifts as well which complicates matters.
I'd like to meet a kind, supportive man who would be happy with that level of contact and happy to not live together etc until kids are off to uni - which would be another 8 years or so for me. But that doesn't seem like a good deal for him if he wants a relationship! I'm only mid-thirties as well and a lot of the men around my age are wanting their own children etc at some point which is fair enough but I categorically don't want any more. Or, they don't want children, in which case they probably aren't interested in a single mum - they want to travel, enjoy a social life etc with a woman which I would struggle to maintain in the time I have available.

I am only just starting to dip my toe into post-divorce dating. I have been on the apps a while but not really taken them very seriously - deleted them for periods of time, occasionally flicked through. But conversations there have always fizzled out and never led to meeting. Last week though i matched with someone who actually communicates with me and has asked me out on a date, so I will go. If nothing comes of it that's fine, it will be nice just to go out of the house and speak to a man tbh (I work in a female dominated field).
I do genuinely enjoy my life as it is, I just feel I'd like to get out there and meet some different people etc. I met my ex so young, I've never really experienced "dating". If it turns out to be fruitless or unenjoyable, I shall return to my man-free home with my scented candles and my peace without any regrets 🙂

I’d focus on my children and enjoy being single.

When you meet the right person, you won’t be worrying (in my experience) you’ll happily introduce children. The reason you feel you don’t want to is because you haven’t met the right person. I knew when I met now dh he was right, the other men I’d dated were just not, you just know

I've not had one date in 15yrs. I've been parenting, working PT and keeping life ticking over, and even that has been cutting it fine most days. No one to babysit or have overnights so I was always tired for the first decade anyway.

But she wants to date. Interested to hear if you’re a single mother.

I think one of the tough things to accept will be that the dating pool of dateable men will be small as it this age most men are not looking for people who already have children.

I've spoken to many women in a similar position who experience ghosting etc as soon as children are mentioned, so it's probably worth being upfront about it instead of wasting time and getting your hopes up.

There will be men in a similar position and those will be the ones worth going after, and they'll be a lot more understanding.

With work, kids and elderly parents, wouldn’t even know how I’d fit in a relationship. Rarely have time to see friends I really care about, and babysitters are £10 an hour, so it’s an expensive date before you even get there! (Never mind the organisation it involves!) I’ll happily stay single and enjoy my children for now.

She may want to date, but unfortunately the reality of being a single mum makes dating difficult. Not only the logistics but the lack of dateable men at that stage in life.

Sorry what stage? Most men and women my age have kids already, I’d happily date a man with kids if they are teens/ adults.

There will also be men with children so I’d probably aim for those as I don’t want anymore. (As long as their kids are teens or older)

I haven’t dated at all but I never wanted a man round my children which makes it difficult as a single parent.