So (apologies for the long story - there is a point to it I hope!) the guy I am seeing currently - we met once, years ago, when I was on a break with my ex, and hit it off (socially only, didn't kiss or anything) but I got back with my ex shortly after, so we just became vague friends on social media for years. When I became single again about a year ago we started messaging regularly - sending really long, detailed messages about anything and everything in our lives almost daily.
I thought it was pretty obvious I was attracted, and had reason to believe he was too simply from the messaging length and frequency, but nothing was said by either of us, no actual flirting.
Eventually we arranged a date for him to come down to see me (he lives a few hours away). We were having a lovely evening chatting at the pub but there was again no real flirting, no physical contact. I kept thinking, is this a date or just friends?
Then he made a throw away comment about finding me attractive when we first met, and I decided to seize the day and took his hand when we walked back from the pub. And he didn't pull away, he sort of stroked my hand with his thumb (God, it sounds like I am about 12!) so when we got back to my flat, I kissed him as soon as he got through the door. And that was that!
But he later told me that, despite really fancying me, he would NEVER have had the nerve to make the first move if I hadn't, and that he had been convinced I wasn't attracted to him. (And the man is beautiful. I could eat him alive - I honestly thought I was staring at him when we were at the pub. But he is just so modest, he has no idea how lovely he is).
Maybe your guy is like this, OP? And maybe like me, you don't give off fancying vibes, even when you are attracted? (It's not the first time a guy has told me he was staggered when I made a move, as he was convinced I didn't like him in this way. I think I nust have an innocent face!)
I wonder if you could hold your guy's hand? Or sit near him on the sofa when watching a film and let your arm brush against his? Or go for a hug some time when he is leaving, and put your face up so he can kiss you if he wants?.
I know it's difficult and scary, but it does sound to me like you MAY have to make the first move with this one (I could be totally wrong, of course).
But the plus side to that is, he clearly respects the Hell out of you so he doesn't want to rush things or do anything to risk upsetting you or losing the friendship. Maybe even likes you so much he thinks you are too good for him and he doesn't stand a chance.
And actually, I don't know if it's because I am getting old, but that level of respectfulness from a guy sounds sexy as Hell from where I am standing, in these days of fake profiles, dick picks, ghosting and all the other unsexy crap many men like to throw at us.....
Good luck. I really hope I am right, and that it works out for you both - it all sounds really quite romantic!