To the OP this was me.
*bit of long read.
I was advised that should we move back to our area or the next boroughs over, they had serious concerns. It's part of the cause. However we were not dealing with a remorseful person.
We've moved far from family and friends and all that we knew. It hasn't been easy, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We travel to see family and have days out, but at the end of the day- we get to live our daily lives in peace and most important of all safety.
I still struggle with the move and drastic change in my life, but deep down every time I read about another women who has sadly lost her life, I thank God that I'm still alive.
My ex did not care about non molestation orders, bail or even the paltry jail time for breaching non molestation orders. The moment they expired, he would come right back outside our former home.
My children were on a child protection plan and yet I wasn't dealing with violence and he didn't live with us. However CPP is one step before a potential removal. They're not done lightly.
Living in a refuge is hard- however that old life wasn't a life and you know it deep down. Yes, you had a home and a job offer, but you was also dealing with abuse. I know that feeling of wanting to be amongst familiarity, but chaos is also part of that.
Even if you're near family and friends, they're not directly at risk, you and your child are. I don't go back anywhere near my old area to visit family, as I know my ex still lives there and I can't take the risk nor the constant stress of being on guard.
Social services have a right to be concerned because unfortunately part of the dynamics of abusive relationships, is the need to "just be normal again." Patterns don't lie.
It doesn't matter how the plans are written, reality is a whole different ball game and it's hard to break that mentality. It is akin to battling an addiction.
Even if you moved to the middle point that's halfway between your at risk county and your new safe county, social services have a duty of care to inform the local social services.
When I moved into a refuge, the local social services tried to get involved and I stuck fast that I wasn't moving into a refuge and still expected to deal with them. I made it very clear that we had no intention of returning and for me that was the best thing, as I was able to focus upon our new lives. Rather than dealing with their constant meetings, it would have made me feel constantly scrutinised and I couldn't deal with that.
Jobs, nursery places and homes can be gained again- lives can not. Peace of mind has to come first.
Start to make plans where you are with the intention to future proof your life. New job, new home interiors, friends, nursery and school places. Planning our new home is what kept me going whilst in the refuge.
In time- this will be the best move you've ever done and yes it will feel strange, but after a while you'll settle and you can travel to see friends and family.
It's not fair that women are forced to leave everything behind and start over, trying to rebuild their lives. But I prefer to start over, then be a statistic or a memory on a wall, in a photo album or in a phone.
Just give yourself a chance and make peace with what was. Focus on the now and future and remember it doesn't have to be forever. Whose to say further down the line, you couldn't move somewhere closer to family and friends.