Ended relationship…he’s back in touch..

[WaitingApples]

I ended a 3 year relationship over one year ago. He was a lovely man but I felt after being married previously I was looking for some time to myself. I work hard, volunteer and wanted to do other things for myself that I’d previously been unable to do. Also my parent is elderly and this continues to take some of my time. I explained all of this, they understood, or said they said but six months in, a message popped through on my phone to say hi, checking in to see how I was. I replied politely, gave no excuses and six months later, he’s back again wishing me a happy birthday and said he still thinks of me, and to enjoy my day.

It’s left me feeling a bit off, I hate upsetting anyone but I certainly didn’t encourage him in any way. What’s the best thing to do? Ignore or reply back, I’m feeling a tiny bit awful..

It sounds harmless. Is there any reason you can't be friends?

Just ignore.
Don’t give him false hope.
You wasn’t interested enough a year for a relationship and you still aren’t.

I’d be more than happy to be just friends..but I can’t see him wanting that.

This is what I was thinking, so I’ve just not replied back.

Not sure what the issue is. If you want to be friends but not more then just say so

i think you either have to tell him to stop texting then block, or put up with it and don’t respond if you don’t want to. I broke up with my last boyfriend in 2019, he still texts me 3 or 4 times a year. I don’t respond.

The wise ones, the relationship coaches the likes of which I’ve come across on Instagram etc, will advise you to ignore, ignore, ignore.

Silence in itself is an answer. Dont rip the plaster off.

I think ignoring is mean. If it confuses you to hear from him, say that and that you’d prefer not to hear from him. But I don’t see how two texts in a year is harmful? If he was blowing up your phone with emotive messages I’d say block but I don’t see how one polite check in and one happy birthday to someone you were with for three years is all that bad?

Because they’re fishing
may want a one night stand , a ego boost , or just lonely.

Just say… sorry, who is this as the number isn’t recognised.

You ended a 3 year relationship because you wanted time to yourself?
That must have been very hurtful for him after 3 years.

Was it really about time for yourself or not wanting him?

He clearly misses you and wants to know if you've had the time for yourself you wanted. You sound very dismissive of a man you spent 3 years with and who, presumably, was a good man.

You know what he wants . He's keeping in touch because he's not over your break up and he wants to know if there is any chance of seeing you again.

The question is - are you able to find room in your life for him now?

If you find his texts annoying, you can ignore them or just reply briefly without giving him hope for anything else.

Or just genuinely care about the person they spent 3 years in a relationship with...
Not everything is negative, just cos its from a man

Ignore it and block his number.

It's not mean. Giving him false hope would be mean. It means you aren't interested in talking to him. Your no hasn't changed.

im in a similar place. I don’t want or need to hear he’s missing me. Tell him if you don’t want to hear from. By keeping contact open he is probably thinking he has a chance if wheedling back into your life. If you find it intrusive to your well-being/healing etc yiu need to tell him to leave you alone. If he persists you can block him. Put ‘you’ first.

I do care for him deeply, but I know deep down he’s not for me. I ignored and I’ve heard nothing since. I would always be friends but I know he’s wanting more, so it’s best I don’t show any interest back.