Thai girlfriend - is it a romance scam?

[BrickBiscuit]

My dear old friend’s brother (who I’ve met but am not close to, and is perfectly nice), has met a much younger Thai woman. He is 66 and retired, solvent but not rolling in it, long divorced, no kids, own house, no mortgage. They have met in person only twice, and talk online daily. She has two young children for whom he sends her money. Friend has asked him if he’s sure, and he says he is now no longer lonely, knows the risks but this is real. Just announced he is taking a trip to Thailand next week. Separately, an ex-colleague married a much younger Thai woman decades ago and they remain happily together.

Maybe not a scam as most people understand it; 'scam' tends to involve fabrication, and this woman is probably being honest about her situation (but maybe not her true feelings.)

I don't think this type of relationship is healthy, but what can you do?

Life will smack him between the eyes soon enough. And he’s already sent her money. No good at all will come of this.

No fool like an old pervert

Is there a big chance she's in it for the money and security a well-off Western man can bring her and her children? Yes. Is there also a good chance he's aware of this and doesn't care because he's lonely and she's young, keeps him company, and gives him a feeling of "purpose" and being needed? Also yes.

Who knows, maybe they'll be very happy together for the rest of his life. Stranger things have happened. I know plenty of people who met sensible people in sensible ways within a sensible age bracket and similar financial bracket and got married and had kids and are absolutely fucking miserable. There's no tried and true recipe for happiness.

I'd leave him to it, especially as he has no kids.

Maybe it’s worth the money (to him) not to be so lonely. Unless he’s moving to Thailand then this is going to be mainly online. Like a paid companion. It sort of depends on the money though is it a few hundred, a few thousand, tens of thousands as it makes a difference?

Unless he’s very unintelligent, I’m sure he’s aware this is likely to be very transactional.

Before he gets any deeper with the lady, he needs to see if has the means to sponsor her to come to the UK as his wife, criteria is he needs to be earning over £29,000 per annum or have savings of £85,000 or combination of both, he may not be that attractive to her if he doesn’t have this money.

Well it could be a scam but it could also be a real relationship. I have an old school friend who met and married a younger Thai lady and they have a little boy. She's lovely and they're very happy. So it can work out for some people. If people in his life have raised concerns, at least he's aware of the pitfalls and I guess he's an adult and can make his own choices.

Old men who try to buy young women from developing countries are gross. 🤮

Whereas women who go to Africa and have 'holiday romances' with young hotel workers are literally empowering all women.

I disagree with that. I think those women are deluded predators. No offence if that’s what you get up to on holiday though.

None taken. I go camping in Scotland with my dog.

I love Scotland and I love dogs so I am now jealous on two counts!

One possibility I've read about is he buys a house over there, a love nest for extended visits when they take it to the next level. But because of local laws it has to go in her name. Once she owns it, he's dropped like a stone.

@GreenClock Get yersel a tent and you're half way there!

It was a 'Shirley Valentine' thread that prompted me to write the post.

It all evens out I guess!

Presume she’s several decades his junior?

It’s a tale as old as time - dirty old man throws money at a younger woman. It’s a transactional relationship. If both parties got their eyes open thrn they’re both adults even if it’s all a bit grubby.

What are you talking about, nobody thinks this 😂

Well, it’s not ‘a scam’ - she probably is who she says she is and there’s no deception happening. He’s sending her money in return for her contact with him, basically. He must know it’s transactional.

Women who prey on loneliness and fake friendship for money are gross.🤢