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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partners online relationship

3 replies

Strawberryfields4ever · 25/10/2025 01:07

I’m worried about someone my partner is talking to online. I don’t think he is cheating, but I’m concerned there’s a lot of emotional involvement and that this person might be using him for money. We share finances, so it’s stressful for me.

When I asked to see messages, he said I don’t trust him and called me controlling and then tried to kiss me. I told him to fuck off. I didn’t want to speak to him for a while and he said he understands but he says I was wrong and should apologise for telling him to fuck off after he tried to kiss me.

Has anyone handled a situation like this without breaking up?

OP posts:
Nestingbirds · 25/10/2025 01:46

Separate your finances now. Do you live together? Assuming you do, start making plans to move out. If he is messaging other women on line then it’s usually game over. He is calling you controlling to deflect what he is doing. Line up an alternative life, and then investigate what he is doing and who he is talking to. You owe it to yourself to be in an honest, loving relationship.

Sleepyandtiredandlazy · 25/10/2025 07:38

I agree with @Nestingbirds.

His reaction to you asking to see the messages shows that he has crossed a line with the person he is messaging.

I'm sorry OP but I think your relationship needs to end for your own future happiness.

Endofyear · 25/10/2025 09:55

Why do you think he's giving this person money? Do you know anything about them? If he is secretive about his interactions with a stranger online and he won't tell you/show you what's going on, I don't see that you have any other choice but to end the relationship.

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