What was your life like when you first met your partner?

[OneUmberJoker]

I was a mess , single for 12 years

I was a kid. Fresher at uni. Giddy and silly.
I lived in student accommodation and lived off a grant. Wore dungarees a lot.

First proper graduate job on a grad scheme, renting a room in a dodgy HMO in the centre of a town/small city I’d moved to for the job where the only people I knew were other grads. I was 23 and either working or out on the piss. Good times 😊

I was 35, had been single for about 15 months, and wasn’t ‘looking’ for a boyfriend. It just sort of happened. In fact, I spent the first few months telling DP we’re “only FWBs” and we need to “keep things casual”. But he quickly melted my cold English heart and won me over. 😊

40 and sick of meeting losers!

I was 17 & in college, major party girl. Barely home. College, work & partying was my life!

I was 32 in a demanding job plus doing a lot of extras on the side. I had no time and was not interested in a relationship. I sold my flat to him but he only approached me for a date after the entire process as he didn’t want me to think he was trying to sweet talk me into giving him a deal 😂We’ve been married for 14 years.

I had moved abroad to take a job (think more Cambodia, not Spain) and given up on men completely. Literally, had sworn them off and said, right I’m done. The guy I’d been dating never turned up to my going away party and I sat there like a sad sack of potatoes all night thinking about what an ass he was and how I was just done with dating.

I got on the plane and flew away from my whole life. 2 months later, I met Dh (he was from the UK and also moved there for work). A year later, we moved home with plans to sort out life and get married. It took me a couple years to be able to move and be with him due to work and education, so we were long distance, but got married almost 3 years to the day after we met.

Life was not a mess. I don’t think you can meet someone and have a healthy functional relationship if your life is a mess. You have to sort yourself out first or else you’ll attract the wrong sorts. I think what made a difference is that I stopped waiting around for a man. I had made a decision that I was off to live my best life (and I did, I had a fabulous time that year, probably the happiest year of my life). And because I wasn’t trying to attract anyone (as had truly given up on men), when I met someone who was completely not ‘my type’, I didn’t just bat them off. I genuinely got to know dh because I really liked him as a person. I didn’t even consider him as a romantic interest, until I did. It turns out my type of ‘complete assholes’ wasn’t really my type. I never would have given him a chance if I’d still been in the headspace I was in before when I was dating.

I was 16 he was 15 it was the school holidays. 47 years ago.

It was only a few months since I'd split up with a long term boyfriend and I was out for fun, nothing else. Had just started new job and moved to a new city and a husband was not part of the plan!

I was 18 in my first month of uni when we first got together. I'd started talking to him online during the summer but our conversations slowly got deeper and we started taking turns visiting each other every 3 weeks (4 hour trip each way).

I ended up getting very sick (unrelated) and dropping out as I was in and out of hospital and moved to his city as I had a lot of other family there who could support me.

We were then together for 15 years before he died.

I was 21 and had just ended a 3 year relationship with a very controlling bf who wanted to get married. Met OH at a nightclub certainly wasn’t looking for a husband. We just clicked and the rest is history as they say.

At 53, I am totally envious of those couples who meet so early. May you have long and happy lives together.

I was very happy, settled and content with my life. I had been divorced for 6 years (from a man unable to prioritise his wife/kids over his social life and drinking & who never paid a penny to support his kids or ever wanted to see them after we split) . I had 2 kids, one with autism & medical issues.

I was not looking to have a relationship at all at the time, but was happy to casually date.
It came as a huge surprise when I met my now DH (of 19yrs), and I'm ashamed to admit that I dumped him twice while we dated, simply because I knew I was falling for him, and I didn't want to !
Happily, he was patient and understanding, and we've been happily married ever since.

I met mine three weeks after I’d fled a terrible marriage in my late twenties. I literally had nothing. I was living in a rented house in a bad area that had nothing but our beds a cooker and a sofa. My bed was a mattress on the floor. We met at work in the new job I’d taken. We became firm friends. I definitely wasn’t looking for more. This angel helped me in so many ways. He helped me get my home livable, supported me emotionally, protected me from harm and for nothing in return but my friendship. A few years passed and I lost a relative. He travelled straight away to comfort me. And it was that day that I knew I wanted more than friendship. Luckily he did too lol he’d been patiently waiting for me to be ready. We’ve been together over 25 years now. He’s my everything x

I was 16 living in a 5 bedroom house with my brothers, working shifts at a factory, he was my brothers friend, we didn’t actually get together until 2 years later as i was seeing someone else at the time- he was an abusive dick who turned physical abusive when i got caught pregnant, i moved out got my own flat and one of my brothers came to live with me (i was worried about ex showing up) OH was homeless at the time too so stayed with me and brother and one evening he asked what i would do if he kissed me 😂 so i told him to try it and find out…. That was over 15 years ago now xx

I was 19 when we met and 21 when we finally got together. Met at work. I was living for the weekend, life was fun but I was using alcohol and other things to numb some childhood trauma. Dp and my kids saved my life if truth be told. It hasn’t always been plain sailing, mainly due to my mental health but we are very happy and have worked hard to build a good stable life for our children, something I didn’t necessarily have.

I was 24 and we were both students - it was a great time! That was 29 years ago.

23 and already felt very world weary.

I was 29 and definitely looking to settle down (both in lifestyle and in terms of looking for a partner!). We met at work - I'd just left a toxic workplace and got a job where he worked.

I was finishing my a levels. He was finishing his degree (opposite end of the country). Moved to London together 6 months later and set up our lives from there :) 17 years ago now!

Well, thank you! But they do come with their own problems and involve missing out on some of the useful discoveries of relationship experimentation undergone by people who don’t meet a longterm/life partner so early, as I’d be the first to acknowledge.

(We met as second-year undergraduates and are now in our early 50s.)

He and I were both in the sixth form studying for A Levels. We were part of a big group of friends and life was one long party, playing sports, live music, being in pubs for the first time and camping in the summer. We all felt the future was an open book and life was ours for the taking. Absolutely wonderful times.

Still together and enjoying life just as much 43 years on.

started dating in high school (but knew him since 7) and had our first child at 16 still together almost ten years later

Snap. He sat behind me in English Lit.

I was 32, working all the hours, good social life, three years out of a difficult long term relationship.

I lived alone in my own little flat in central London, and was completely independent. Dating a bit, but not looking for anything too serious (I had quietly accepted that marriage and kids weren't going to happen, and that was ok).

We got married when I was 35, had DD at 36, and now, 10 years later living the high life in suburbia.