My boyfriend thinks I’m boring

[Dana2509]

so my boyfriend says I’m boring during sex and when we got together I was never boring he got sex almost everyday I even put on lingerie but life happened and we had a trauma bond fast forwards we are now in a good environment we were having sex and he got soft inside me and proceeds to tell me he gives me weak sex because its routined and not fun but honestly I felt so hurt and distraught because most times he doesn’t feel that way but now it feels like he’s been lying this whole time I can always tell when he doesn’t want sex but yet want me to make him want sex
I dont think I should have to do that especially when I feel like I get the bare minimum

How long have you been together? Maybe the relationship has just reached it's natural end, but he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realise that, so he's trying to insult you in the hope that you be the "bad guy" and break up with him.

He sounds deeply unsexy, so best to move on.

It sounds as though he is putting all the blame on you OP.

I would suspect very much that the problem lies with him and something going on in his life but he is chosing to make it your fault.

I’m worried about you. You sound as though you are in a confusing unhappy and unhealthy situation.

You say you had a trauma bond, and that he’s giving you the bare minimum, that he’s manipulating you into working at making him horny when he isn’t-

What about you being happy?

Sounds like he is laying the way to get you to do something you will be uncomfortable with. Get rid and so t do things just to please him. You can do better

This doesn’t sound like a loving, caring, healthy relationship. How are things beyond your sex life? Does he make you feel adored? Does he make you happy? Do you feel relaxed and confident when you are with him?

We been together 4 years going on 5 years

I feel confused sometimes I’m not perfect but I do try but if men aren’t in the mood to have sex then why blame the women when something goes wrong

Dump him.

He's trying to break your spirit.

He doesn’t sound nice.

and the fact you said trauma bond - I try to be optimistic but some things don’t always get better.

Sounds like he may be using too much porn?

I agree with the others, this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all.

He could have a porn problem. Men with this addiction can often not perform and lay the blame on you.

The other thing he may be doing is laying the path for you to be coerced into doing something that he knows you would be unhappy with.

I would honestly leave but if you do stay you could ask him if he’s seeing the GP about his ED.

Neither is a great situation for you.

Trauma bonds can be broken, have you got anyone positive in your life who you can talk to?

5 years is a long time to waste in someone who makes you feel like this, please don’t waste 5 more

Sounds like a porn problem. Basically everything is vanilla by comparison and he can’t keep a stiffy. You are the one with cause for complaint.

He's blaming you for his problem keeping an erection.

Life's too short to deal with his bullshit. Take out the trash.

Why don’t he suggest what he wants then, it’s not all down to you to entertain and put all the effort in. Don’t feel pressured to put a show on for him if you don’t want to, nothing more unsexy than a nagging boyfriend criticising the sexlife, tell him he’s boring, which naturally he’ll hate because he thinks it’s all your fault! dump him