So one of my besties (we were each others bridesmaids!) behaviour is really wearing me down. We first became friends when we were out clubbing in all the same places as teenagers and being cool mean girls was our thing. This persona has not changed at all for this friend. Every interaction that I have with her involves her bitching about other friends of ours or people that we used to know. Her contributions to our group chats are always screen grabs of other people, commenting on the way they look or who they think they are to say whatever it is. Now that we are in our mid 30s I just find this beyond draining and often choose to ignore the comments.
This friend is also very competitive within the group and this has been aimed at me many times over the years. If i started skateboarding so would she, if i went to the beach she’d be posting from the same one a few days later. If I say I like an artist she’ll be posting about listening to them the next day. She does do this to everyone and not just me, but recently i started to go to a dance class and when i told the friendship group i had signed up she laughed and said she ‘couldn’t think of anything worse’ and posted videos of people dancing out of time to the group.
Later when she invited me to something i told her i couldn’t attend because id be at said class. She completely changed her tune and said that she was going to sign up for it too. This obviously irked me, given her previous comments, but i thought i would just let it play out as she would give up on it in time as she clearly wasn’t interested in it for the actual class. She came for a few classes and as predicted gave up on it and 6 months have passed since she’s been. Now that i have said in the class group chat that im going to the christmas social for it, shocker; she’s coming to the next class and has also signed up to go to the christmas social.
How do you break up with someone like this?!!! I don’t want to be friends with her anymore because she is very nasty about other people (including at class!) and the copying/competitiveness is so bad for my mental health. i feel like i am constantly being watched and judged by her and that i can’t do anything earnestly without her taking it and making it seem trivial.
I have been trying to just create distance, dodge messages and events so that she’ll get bored of me but now she’s signed up to this christmas event I am basically forced to spend time with her every week until then and i really think she knows that and gets a kick out of it!
I feel like i can’t say ‘you can’t come to the class’ because that’s unreasonable and i also feel like i can’t say i don’t want to be her friend knowing that she’s paid for the christmas event already and will likely be at class every week until then!
Who pays to go to a christmas do with a dance class you haven’t attended in 6 months?! it will be 20 strangers 🙈 can’t deal. This just makes me think that she will not take well to any of this and will make it really difficult for me and I truly don’t have the energy for this level of pettiness at our age! Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!!