Unfulfilled marriage

[Wow10]

Long story short, my husband stepped out of our very long relationship just before we got married. He has always denied it, but I know the truth. Some years later I saw messages to his attractive work colleague that were sexually charged, which he said was just a joke. He then when drunk tried to have sex with me calling me by this colleagues name. This was it for me, I removed my wedding rings and things have never really been the same since. I have stayed in a sexless marriage for the sake of my children who, several years later are in their teens. He doens even with me Happy Bday on social media. Anyway, I think and old flame from years ago maybe waiting in the wings and has started messaging me. I am quite attracted to him. He has asked me out for coffee as he doesn’t drink. Advice please?

End one relationship before you consider another.

You may not have a good marriage but you are still in a relationship with your H, however toxic.

You're both mentoring toxic relationships to your DC and adding another person will make things worse.

Get clear, get healthy, get boundaries then you might be ready.

Divorce, then take time to relish the bliss of being rid of men, help your kids cope with the poor marriage, and the divorce.
Don't go on a date with an ex, anyone who pursues a married person is of low quality by default.

Well the home life for the teens would have been shit so it was a waste to stay for them

This was it for me, I removed my wedding rings and things have never really been the same since.

and if it had been “it for me” you wouldn’t still be with him.

It all sounds like utterly unhappy family home

You have missed a detail op

in your other post about your marriage you say you got revenge and also cheated on him a few years ago

Oh well that puts a different gloss on things...

Op just wants some sort of validation to cheat….again

No I think we have concealed it well from my children. We do have separate bedrooms, but blamed his snoring. I think that “that was it for me” was when I decided I no longer loved him as a husband. I grew distant, but didn’t want the upset for my children to through a brake up. I have put myself last for many years. I agree that the marriage should end before anything can blossom.

Christ, your poor kids. They're going to think this is what relationships are meant to be like.

End your sham of a marriage. Then if you want to move on, do so guilt free.

You were posting just last year about the other man and how obsessed you were with this