Hiya, looking for some advice. I am a domestic abuse survivor. Abusers are my parents rather than intimate partner. No contact with abusers for some time. My sister, who I have maintained a relationship with, is still friendly with them. I am getting married next year. I told my sister and brother in law yesterday, invited them to my wedding and asked them not to tell anyone about it. I explained that I didn't want my abusers to have the opportunity to do anything to spoil things or to try to make my marriage about them instead of about me and my husband. I imagine if they were to learn of the wedding they would make spurious objections perhaps on the day, belittle, name call, threaten and look to be doing that in advance of the wedding as well as on the day. My sister agreed to not say anything but her husband said I was not being very nice to them, because if they keep my secret they, and especially my sister, will face backlash from the abusers when it comes out that they knew I was getting married but didn't tell. I have told my sister the date of the wedding, but don't intend to share the time or venue with any of my blood relatives, I think this will reduce the risk of the abusers turning up on the day. I have told my sister that I will send a car to collect her at a specific time on the day and the venue can be a lovely surprise. My sister has three adult children who I really want to celebrate the day with. To minimise risk, I am thinking of not telling them I am getting married but instead inviting them to a family photo shoot on that day followed by some food and drinks, with me paying for the photos and food. I will tell them it's really important to me for them to be included in the photos but I think there's a higher risk of them saying they can't come, can't get away from work that day or whatever, than if they knew it was my wedding. I think their grandparents are likely to discourage their attendance at a photo shoot with me. Does anyone have any better ideas for my nieces/ nephews to attend my wedding without risking them disclosing it in advance to their grandparents? I imagine, based on my lived experience, that the backlash for secret keepers will be rabid ranting (frothing at the mouth with spit flying), name calling, silent treatment, exclusion, perhaps grandmother threatening to commit suicide (more likely to be implied by openly mixing alcohol and lots of prescription meds to 'deal with the pain of betrayal' because they didn't share the information, perhaps saying things like she wishes she could go asleep and not have to wake up to another day like this), grandfather aggressively shouting and suggesting they are to blame for grandmother's mental health will be to blame if grandmother does top herself and anybody who has kept a secret like that would be shot if there were any justice in the world.