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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Does your husband/wife flirt with you

35 replies

sexlesshusbandwoes · 22/10/2025 21:13

I’ve just had the most bizzare conversation
i asked my husband why he doesn’t flirt with me and he got really angry and annoyed and started shouting at me. His eyes were darting everywhere

I asked him why he was still here if he thought it was that strange and his response was ‘I like it here’ 😕

can anyone advise me where to go from here

OP posts:
lambdressedasspam · 23/10/2025 05:29

sexlesshusbandwoes · 22/10/2025 21:13

I’ve just had the most bizzare conversation
i asked my husband why he doesn’t flirt with me and he got really angry and annoyed and started shouting at me. His eyes were darting everywhere

I asked him why he was still here if he thought it was that strange and his response was ‘I like it here’ 😕

can anyone advise me where to go from here

When he was was shouting what was he saying? ltb 💐

Catsknowbest · 23/10/2025 05:30

SilverStateLady · 22/10/2025 21:27

Depends on what your definition of “flirting” is I guess….

My DH is not remotely subtle about it 😂 And it’s quite comedic a lot of the time (think cartoon character doing some suggestive eyebrow wiggling! 😂).
Sometimes it catches me off guard, like the other night, I’d just got in bed to read my book and realised I’d left my glasses in the en-suite. Got up to go get them and he hits me with “I hate it when you leave, but god I love watching you walk away” whilst staring at my bum 🫠🫠😂😂😂

Very Nicholas Cage lol love it 😅

Catsknowbest · 23/10/2025 05:31

Mrsnothingthanks · 22/10/2025 22:11

Absolutely. I think my husband is hot and he feels the same about me. My first marriage was not like this at all (I wasn't physically attracted to him tbh and he never showed an interest) so it was very important that this was a solid part of any relationship going forward. For us both it is an important part of our marriage and we try as much as we can to connect intimately.

Exactly the same here including the first marriage part!

Original poster
sexlesshusbandwoes · 23/10/2025 15:10

He was just shouting at me to stop talking about stupid stuff and to move out the way basically. It was very odd. We have very little sex but there’s no flirting or any affection

OP posts:
Mrsnothingthanks · 23/10/2025 15:20

@sexlesshusbandwoes Has it always been this way? Sorry to hear things are so difficult right now.

AnonymouseDad · 23/10/2025 15:24

sexlesshusbandwoes · 23/10/2025 15:10

He was just shouting at me to stop talking about stupid stuff and to move out the way basically. It was very odd. We have very little sex but there’s no flirting or any affection

Its not stupid stuff. Its really important stuff.
Besides, it isn't up to him to decide what is or isn't important to you. It's up to him to listen and understand what you need to feel wanted. Just as that is your job too.
Shouting should never be ok especially just to move your question out of the way.
Is this behaviour normal for him or is it new?

Original poster
sexlesshusbandwoes · 23/10/2025 15:42

Mrsnothingthanks · 23/10/2025 15:20

@sexlesshusbandwoes Has it always been this way? Sorry to hear things are so difficult right now.

It’s never been particularly passionate but it’s never been this bad

OP posts:
Mrsnothingthanks · 23/10/2025 20:37

@sexlesshusbandwoes My advice would be to say to him you'd like to talk about things and when would be a good time. Hopefully then you'll get more of an understanding about what is going on and then take it from there. How old are you and how long have you been married?

lambdressedasspam · 25/10/2025 02:05

sexlesshusbandwoes · 23/10/2025 15:10

He was just shouting at me to stop talking about stupid stuff and to move out the way basically. It was very odd. We have very little sex but there’s no flirting or any affection

I heard a women astutely explain that sex is a false sense of intimacy - when it's in a relationship lacking real intimacy- based on trust and emotional connection.
And that false sense of connection blurs your radar/ intution.

He sounds like a shit man. You don't need aggression when your just wanting basic commication. He sounds unreasonably defensive. Though the description of his darting eyes sounded really funny - he sounds like a massive twunt and you deserve better.

Blodyneighbour · 25/10/2025 03:52

You put him on the spot. He may now think he needs to perform to you when he was just comfortable as things were.

Some people just aren't like that.

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