Hello,
I have no-one to talk to about this so would welcome your thoughts.
Before my husband became seriously ill he had firm for blowing hot and cold with me and has said some pretty awful and nasty things to me in the past but passed them off as jokes. He went through a pretty horrendous time being ill but eventually came out the other side and is now cured. I supported him throughout by loving him, being there for him, listening, encouraging, feeding him a very healthy diet and so on. He was a changed person (or so I thought). He told me he couldn’t have come through it without my support and was forever grateful for that. However, slowly, bit by bit, he’s back to his old tricks.
Tonight, we were watching a drama about a Yorkshire husband having a skeleton in his cupboard ie an affair which resulted in the birth of a son. Although it was a serious drama it was also humorous. When it finished I mimicked the lovely Yorkshire accent and asked if he had any skeletons in his cupboard - “Ee up lad,” I said “appen thee might have any skeletons in your cupboard?” I was giggling while I said it and was very lighthearted. I wasn’t being serious. It was more a rhetorical question than anything else.
Well, he blew up at me and shouted,” Oh here we go you’re always ranting about my past! You really don’t realise the effect you have on people do you?”
He said it with absolute malice in his voice and kept going on and on about it.
What started as a friendly evening watching a programme we both liked ended up with him stomping off to bed and me in tears.
This might all seem trivial but occasions like this every so often, knock me for six
and it’s like walking on eggshells. He says I am no fun but doesn’t allow me to be relaxed and just have a bit of fun and be myself with him.
I really don’t know how to handle this going forward.