Deep breaths…

[Arabiannights01]

I think I need an outsiders opinion please. I had - I wouldn’t even call it an argument, I don’t know what it was but I’m really upset and unsure if I was in the wrong.

This morning I was doing my hair when my husband came into the room, sat next to me to also do his hair and he let out the largest, most disgusting burp. I asked him why he had to do it right next to me and he then started berating me and saying that I don’t understand humans anatomy and told me that I should move out. I got defensive then which made him become angry. I walked away and later tried to shut it - down as I hate bad energy. I asked him for an apology which in hindsight was a huge mistake because he then got really mad, told me to F - off which then made me cry. He told me I was disturbing him and why was I crying over a burp and he then stormed out for work really early.

I wish that I hadn’t said anything at all but I think he went too far. What do you think please?

Oh and forgot to add that he started shouting and slamming doors etc after I walked away. 😡

Well that does all sound very dramatic over a burp! Does he usually shout and swear at you and storm out when you disagree?

It really is, thanks for your reply. That is his regularly his reaction when I disagree with him..to get angry and be little me anyway. I think I’m trying to work out if you can truly love someone when you get that angry at them!

I couldn't stay with someone whose reaction to any criticism was to lose his temper, fly off the handle and belittle me. He sounds very unpleasant generally. If you have children an angry father is frightening to live with and can be very damaging, no one should have to walk on eggshells! Personally l would be preparing to separate.

Aw grow up the pair of you !

How long ago did this start? I assume he’s not always been like that with you.

Is he under any major stress now or when that started that made him change?

By the sounds of it you were definitely not in the wrong, and he definitely should not have reacted like that.

Too much drama over a burp. 🙄

Thank you for your reply. I hate this feeling of anxiety that it gives me and that I just keep thinking, I shouldn’t have said anything but I did and it left me shaking and feeling like rubbish.

I know what you mean but we do have a child and it’s really complex because I can’t imagine a life where I don’t see my child everyday, we are also tied together with work and also I have a serious Heath condition.

Thank you for your reply 💕.

i would say that he is under a bit of stress but not major stress. However, he has started to drink too much wine which I don’t think is helping at all.

he hasn’t always been this bad but whenever we have had an argument, he always crosses a line with his words!

Sorry, but that’s really short - sighed of you and you don’t need to even say anything if you aren’t going to help.

He doesn't sound like he likes you very much. I couldn't live like that. Burping sat next to you is hugely disrespectful especially not to excuse himself or apologise and deflect it to you. He sounds like a bully.

He's a nasty individual. Telling you to move out and fuck off are not the words of someone who respects you.

Imagine how much worse he's going to get as the years go by.

It sounds like he did it on purpose to start an argument to me.

I'd also find that really disgusting. Obviously these things can't always be helped, but in that case, the person usually apologises. This sounds deliberate

That's like something my teenage son would do if he's moody about something unrelated, having to do homework he doesn't want to do, having missed a fortnite tournament etc. It was totally immature and he probably didn't expect you to react the way you did (which no one would blame you for, it is disgusting). Men generally want women to think they're great. I don't think it was intentional. You could make a point by pretending your going to do a big burp or fart beside him, telling him that you thought it was ok for ye to do! It got the message home to my son anyway! Basically there was something after going wrong and he wanted you to sympathise/help sort it out 😏

It sounds like he or both of you need a break too or an early night

Thank you for your message and that is exactly how I feel. If you like someone, you don’t disrespect them in the way he has - you’d feel bad and you’d apologise!

Haha I’m the one who has the early nights and I gave him a break last weekend! I took our child to my parents.

I think this is a whole lot of drama over a burp to be honest!

This is so interesting because he often acts like a teenager! I often think this about him and he is 41! 🤦‍♀️.

you are completely right with your point of men wanting you to think they’re amazing. When he is home, if I turned around to him - apologised and told him how wonderful he is, I know he would back down but I won’t do it.

First of all what kind of a man "does his hair" sitting next to someone. That's what bathroom mirrors are for! Was he deliberately invading your space, that would annoy me a lot.

Maybe just agree not to sit on top of each other whilst grooming. Then you won't hear any burps close up. Easiest thing to do is say something reasonable and get on with it.

Has he got lovely hair BTW and does he love looking at himself?

Exactly that and I know that he made it sound as bad/loud as he could which is so bizarre when he knows how much I hate it!