Intimacy with teens in the house

Mischance · 21/10/2025 11:22

Ah yes - the art of silent sex!

Sassylovesbooks · 21/10/2025 11:24

My son is 14, and my husband and I tend to have sex in the morning before my son is awake. Yes, I do have an ear 'open', just in case, but then I am the same at night too!! 🤷 Occasionally we have had the house to ourselves during the day and take the opportunity. I think perhaps a quiet word with your Mum, to say, please knock, if no one answers, we're either not in or unavailable. Please don't just let yourself in, regardless if you think we're in or not!

SandStormNorm · 21/10/2025 11:32

Put the TV on, put the radio on, put a latch on bedroom door to prevent unexpected visitors. I assume your eldest child is managing their sex life from the bedroom shared with GF without your detection. Your mother is not silly, and has probably figured out her grandchildren were not dropped down the chimney by the stork. You don't have to tell her what you are getting up to. Just say you like a nap or going out on your day off and prefer advance notice of her arrival.

isthesolution · 21/10/2025 11:34

Same. It’s awful isn’t it!

We often have a day off during the week when they are at school. I cannot relax when they are in the house and I know they are awake.

LondonLady1980 · 21/10/2025 11:36

Between the hours of 9-10pm my oldest son knows that me and his dad are not to be disturbed (our youngest son is already in bed by this time).

He understands that couples need time alone together, and just like he enjoys time to hang out with his best mate, husbands and wives need time to hang out with each other too.

So each evening, me and DH have an hour of interrupted time, sometimes we just relax and watch some Netflix or sometimes we do have quiet sex (both our sons are on a different floor of the house).

He’s not stupid and I’m pretty sure he’s aware what might be going on in mine and DH’s uninterrupted time but such is life.

We have the TV on relatively loud, and he’s on the floor below watching the TV or gaming with his friends so for that hour he keeps himself to himself.

For various reasons this 9-10pm window is really the only opportunity me and DH get to just have some quality time together (even if sex doesn’t occur), and we really cherish just having an hours peace to ourselves where we can chat and relax. I know it’s only an hour but we still feel it’s important to have that time together each day even if it’s just to cuddle, chat and re-connect.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 21/10/2025 11:54

Good suggestions from PP.

I would says: give morning sex another go, maybe.

It worked out very well for my ex and I - my kids are younger but they are dead asleep at 5am usually. Yes we were still quiet but less risk of being interrupted and enough time to DTD and have cuddle afterwards before alarms go off for the day.

Starlight1984 · 21/10/2025 11:58

Put the TV / music on. Honestly, as long as they can't hear you, most teens won't give a shit second thought to what their parents are doing. They're far too self absorbed 😂

Starlight1984 · 21/10/2025 11:59

In terms of your mum turning up at the house, lock the door from the inside before you go upstairs so she can't let herself in. Not difficult stuff!

Original poster

Wham83 · 21/10/2025 12:32

Starlight1984 · 21/10/2025 11:59

In terms of your mum turning up at the house, lock the door from the inside before you go upstairs so she can't let herself in. Not difficult stuff!

I did this on a previous occasion- she then made a song and dance when she rang me later in the evening so I had to make up a story that we’d gone out for a walk. We have no option but to park on our driveway so we don’t block the road, and there are no side streets to put the cars on, so it’s obvious when we’re home.

I didn’t grow up in a very liberal home, sex was never discussed and I didn’t get ‘the chat’ when I started my periods, instead it was referred to as “my next step into womanhood” by my mum - all extremely stuffy and cringy now.

OP posts:

Whatsthatsheila · 21/10/2025 12:35

LondonLady1980 · 21/10/2025 11:36

Between the hours of 9-10pm my oldest son knows that me and his dad are not to be disturbed (our youngest son is already in bed by this time).

He understands that couples need time alone together, and just like he enjoys time to hang out with his best mate, husbands and wives need time to hang out with each other too.

So each evening, me and DH have an hour of interrupted time, sometimes we just relax and watch some Netflix or sometimes we do have quiet sex (both our sons are on a different floor of the house).

He’s not stupid and I’m pretty sure he’s aware what might be going on in mine and DH’s uninterrupted time but such is life.

We have the TV on relatively loud, and he’s on the floor below watching the TV or gaming with his friends so for that hour he keeps himself to himself.

For various reasons this 9-10pm window is really the only opportunity me and DH get to just have some quality time together (even if sex doesn’t occur), and we really cherish just having an hours peace to ourselves where we can chat and relax. I know it’s only an hour but we still feel it’s important to have that time together each day even if it’s just to cuddle, chat and re-connect.

If your bed is directly above the light fitting of the room your son is in he definitely knows.

always knew when my parents were shagging cos the light fitting was jiggling away 😆

Mischance · 21/10/2025 12:38

Just tell your mum you were having sex ... better than lying. She will get over it. You were not conceived by spontaneous combustion!

HelpMeUnpickThis · 21/10/2025 12:39

Wham83 · 21/10/2025 12:32

I did this on a previous occasion- she then made a song and dance when she rang me later in the evening so I had to make up a story that we’d gone out for a walk. We have no option but to park on our driveway so we don’t block the road, and there are no side streets to put the cars on, so it’s obvious when we’re home.

I didn’t grow up in a very liberal home, sex was never discussed and I didn’t get ‘the chat’ when I started my periods, instead it was referred to as “my next step into womanhood” by my mum - all extremely stuffy and cringy now.

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@Wham83

Ok but this is YOUR home now? Why cant you tell her to text or call before she comes over? I dont understand this.

Starlight1984 · 21/10/2025 13:14

Wham83 · 21/10/2025 12:32

I did this on a previous occasion- she then made a song and dance when she rang me later in the evening so I had to make up a story that we’d gone out for a walk. We have no option but to park on our driveway so we don’t block the road, and there are no side streets to put the cars on, so it’s obvious when we’re home.

I didn’t grow up in a very liberal home, sex was never discussed and I didn’t get ‘the chat’ when I started my periods, instead it was referred to as “my next step into womanhood” by my mum - all extremely stuffy and cringy now.

Edited

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In that case I would definitely tell her you were having sex 😂Then the chances of her turning up unannounced again would be zero!

LondonLady1980 · 21/10/2025 14:34

Whatsthatsheila · 21/10/2025 12:35

If your bed is directly above the light fitting of the room your son is in he definitely knows.

always knew when my parents were shagging cos the light fitting was jiggling away 😆

Show quote history

🤣🤣

No, we are on the lowest floor of the house and he is above us (three storey house).

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 21/10/2025 16:35

You just have sex, and do it quietly so that they hopefully don't hear.

They're 16 and 20, they know their parents must have sex. Everyone hears their parents have sex at some point, me and my brother certainly did. DP actually walked in on her parents at it in the kitchen when they thought she was out.

None of us are scarred for life, and I'm sure DD won't be if she ever hears us either.

DiscontinuedModelHusband · 21/10/2025 16:47

mornings!

can guarantee they won't know, unless you're really noisy!
😀

Meadowfinch · 21/10/2025 17:00

lunchtimes
car
local hotel
al fresco (although perhaps not in October).
arrange for the dcs to help their gran with decorating one weekend 😊

Keep the front door locked, and ignore your mum's moaning
Buy a door wedge for your bedroom.

Or just tell them all to go away for the weekend because you and DH will be 'reconnecting' and you don't want an audience. 😁

CountryGirlInTheCity · 21/10/2025 17:40

There has been the odd occasion where we were at home through the day and had the house to ourselves for a few hours so gave it a go, only for my mother to turn up unannounced and let herself in!

Is she completely oblivious?? Surely she realised you were upstairs having sex? My MIL did exactly the same to us when we were first married. DH went downstairs to enquire what she was doing in our kitchen uninvited and she left really quickly. Next time I saw her she apologised profusely and said she’d always knock and wait to be admitted in future!

If she really is that unaware you need to tell her that she needs to be more respectful of your space because you want sex in peace once in a while.

As for the kids you just have to get on with it
and be as quiet as you can. And set some boundaries about your bedroom being out of bounds for just walking in. It’s not the most relaxing sex you’ll ever have but what’s the alternative? No sex at all seems like a far worse option to me. As long as you’re not being performatively loud it will be fine!

SchoolNightWine · 21/10/2025 18:43

Use a door wedge so you know the kids can’t come into your room. Then relax and enjoy…quietly!