The Games Men Play

[ToutesetBonne]

Prompted by another thread, I've been remembering all the tricks my ex-H used to pull out of the bag as part of his narcissism/passive aggressive approach.

One was the "I know what you've done..." routine (I'd done nothing!), followed by threats to "expose you via the newspapers" (I had a role with a degree of public profile) and threats to contact my boss to ensure that I lost my job (the only thing keeping us afloat at the time).

It was all, of course, about control. He would never tell me 'what I'd done' because there was nothing to tell.

Why do men play games instead of communicating? Any men here care to answer?

People play games instead of communicating like adults for all sorts of reasons. The kinds of relationships they were exposed to during their formative years is often pivotal. Self-esteem issues, anger problems, mental health difficulties etc can also play a big part.

Was your ex diagnosed with narcissism by a professional or is this just something you suspect?

Something that, as a psychotherapist, I strongly suspected.

If you're a psychotherapist then presumably you're aware that a) not all men are the same and so asking men here to answer for another man they've never met is worthless, and b) that game-playing is in no way something that only men do? Oh, and c) you should know that this kind of thing is rooted in all sorts of dysfunction so why are you asking randoms here anyway?

You're not talking about men though, you're talking about a very specific kind of abuse from an abuser.

Weird to generalise to all men in this case

And where did you get your degree if you're spewing this nonsense? Was it off a cereal pack, collect ten tokens and become a psychotherapist.

I'm sorry you've been through abuse but I seriously hope you're not working in a capacity of helping people with their mental health or relationships if you think all men are 'the same' and abusive.

Get yourself your own therapy and work through your trauma. Before you damage other people's lives.

An AS on OP's posts is instructive and speaks volumes about her opinion of men as a class. Which is a pity given she apparently works as a psychotherapist, and as a chaplain, and at a housing charity etc. She's a busy woman.

Men don't play games. Twats do.

I've certainly never displayed any of the behaviours you're describing, so I'm not sure why you think I'd have any more idea of why certain people act like that than you do.