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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Should I End This

32 replies

FlynnD93 · 21/10/2025 08:15

My partner of 42yrs (M) hasn’t spoken to me for 12 weeks. 12 weeks ago he spoke to me terribly over a situation about helping our adult daughter with a flat tyre. I left and stayed at my mother’s overnight. I’d just had enough! The following day he sent a text acting like nothing had happened (hello love and asking had his parcel been delivered) I replied as I’m not at home I wouldn’t know and I don’t appreciate being spoken to like I irritate you! I went home 3 days later. He never responded and hasn’t spoken since. This incident is not isolated but it’s always me that lands up being the bigger person and gives in, but this time I haven’t. He has always been a sulker, it’s not a great relationship by any standards he refuses to go anywhere unless it’s to do with his friends. I’m sure he doesn’t even like me! We own our property outright and I don’t want to leave my home. He has never outrightly shown any feelings, we have never had ‘feeling’ conversations as his actions make him unapproachable, he turns everything into a joke, we have just bumbled along and here we are 42 yrs later. I just want to be happy as I enter my final phase of life and think I should have walked years ago! WWYD

OP posts:

KarenW · 21/10/2025 20:41

"Find" your anger, sorry, typo

MeTooOverHere · 21/10/2025 22:18

FlynnD93 · 21/10/2025 09:10

Easier said than done @RuffledKestrel he’s so unapproachable and unable to have a serious conversation that if I said ‘shall we split up’ he just say whatever and walk away as his ‘pride’ wouldn’t allow him to show any emotion. So much so I've never heard him utter the word sorry.

Show quote history

Go see and solicitor and instruct them to start divorce proceedings. You don't have to go through with it but you sure do need to fire a shot across his bow. A serious shot.

MeTooOverHere · 21/10/2025 22:23

Tryingatleast · 21/10/2025 11:28

To be fair you leaving and sending an inflammatory text started this, he’s probably been questioning the same thing. You are together 42 years but you’re both acting like teenagers, you both need to discuss whether you want to work this out

and who are you? Her text was not inflammatory.

ozarina · 21/10/2025 22:29

You need to file for a divorce. How can you live with all this pretence and angst? It's not good for you health wise. You will have to split things starting 50/50 but you will have a place where you can get BACK to being you instead of the SHELL of a person you have become. I've been there .

ThisCalmMauveWriter · 26/12/2025 13:10

That was the last I've heard from him,
I would leave it at that.

Block him, and forget about him. I am not even joking. He left, by himself, so good riddance.

Arlanymor · 26/12/2025 13:21

You're living with a stranger who doesn't appear to benefit your life in anyway. I would write him a letter - giving that he is not talking to you - stating that you want to separate in the new year and you'll need to put the house on the market. If nothing else it will provoke him to talk with you. But I would be taking serious steps to bring things to a close.

FlockOfSausages · 26/12/2025 14:46

You can start divorce proceedings without any discussion with him.

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