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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to get over someone you have to spend time with

1 reply

BellaBlackberry83 · 20/10/2025 23:02

I volunteer with a man I have very strong feelings for.We have always been friends, but I have become very close over the last few months. We go out for drinks to discuss our volunteering, share aspects of our lives and problems, spend time together at social functions. We are very similar. When I am with him I feel safe and comfortable. He makes me laugh and I fancy him. We are both in our 40s.

He is technically single, but is fairly recently out of a marriage and is still managing the fpractical allout relating to that. I don't think he is ready for a relationship yet, and I don't want to risk our friendship by pushing it further.

I am looking for advice on how to guard my heart. I am single but would like to be in a relationship. I am actively dating, but it is hard for other men to compare to him (inevitably, he already has a head start!) I don't want to put my life on hold for him, and it is not wise to do so anyway.

However, I don't want to lose my volunteering or my friendship. Any advice gratefully received!

OP posts:
duvetday0006 · 20/10/2025 23:50

You're absolutely right not to put your life on hold. I'd say just keep actively dating and see what happens, you might meet someone great or you never know how things might develop a few months down the line with this man. Try your best to go with the flow :) You seem very considerate and kind, best of luck! Xxx

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