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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you do?

4 replies

Waterhorse46 · 20/10/2025 19:26

So my friend passed my number onto a guy she thought was my type. I said ok fine no issues. He texted me mid September. Usual convo of hi how’s your day etc. we had ONE call a couple weeks ago. No movement since. No date. No nothing. Two Saturdays ago I reached out to say I hope he was having a lovely weekend. We chatted a bit about Netflix series. Him going for food with friends etc etc. then I left it on the note of his message which was

Hey morning.
hope you’re okay
Saturday was good thanks, the restaurant we ate at was fab. It had so many choices and I ate enough to last me.
Hope you are going well and you have a fab day ahead!

to me that warrants no reply. So Saturday this week comes and I was like eff it I’ll ask if he wants to meet. So in turn I got back “heya I hope you’re doing well. Things are ok on my end. Super busy though. I’m back in the area approx 16th November if that works” what the actual fuck… so my friend said. At this point say no that’s too far we’re going in circles either during my annual leave week or we leave it.

can anyone help me. I’m so confused. Yes I’m aware it looks like breadcrumbs. I’d like to give him a chance my friend knows him and said he’s nice etc but this isn’t good. How do you firmly lay it down without being rude.

OP posts:
Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 19:29

You can't lay it down firmly. He doesn't owe you anything, and he doesn't know you. You can either say oh sorry, I was hoping for something sooner and drop contact or you can say yes and book something in. But it hardly sounds like it's been fireworks so far so I'd probably leave it.

DiscoBob · 20/10/2025 19:30

I mean why not take it at face value and arrange to meet after that date? Do you not believe he's out of the area or busy?

I guess if you already suspect he's a liar then don't bother date him. But if you're dating in general why not just meet him once to see? Don't pin any high hopes on him or anything of course.

mondaytosunday · 20/10/2025 19:34

Confused? He’s obviously in no rush to get together. And it sounds as if he doesn’t even live near you? I’d reply ‘yes busy time of year for me too! Perhaps we’ll finally meet in November’. Then leave it. Don’t text. If he gets in touch in November and you are still interested then go out. But don’t count on it. Put him out of your head.

CaffeinatedSeagull · 20/10/2025 19:37

If he’s genuinely ‘out of the area’ is that a regular thing and will he be around enough to have the relationship you want?

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